Dreamscape (ReaderxMidoriyaxBakugouxTodoroki)

90. Never Again

(TW: Violence. Long Chapter! I promise last chapter was the last heartbreak of the story!)

Songs:

"Iridescent" – Linkin Park

"I See Fire" – Ed Sheeran

"Rise" – Katy Perry

"Revolution" – UNSECRET, Ruelle

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Grief.

That's all her heart felt at the moment, no elation for being alive. Everything throbbed. Her muscles felt weak, breaths sporadic with hurtful intakes of air. Pain radiated from within – heart sobbing and feeling tight in her chest. Feeling as though she was slowly dying. Which in a way, she was. Her heart pumped in an irregular rhythm. Vision going in and out, from the blood loss. Feeling delirious and woozy. Even moving just her fingertips hurt so, so much. Her brain was still trying to catch up to the reality of it all.

She was alive, but barely and it was all thanks to her best friend. Her now deceased best friend.

The first boy she ever loved.

Tenko was truly gone now, and she couldn't even mourn his death. They were in the middle of a war, and she still had everyone she cared for, to think of. Yes, she was dying on the inside, but she would not fall apart, not right now. There was no time to dwell on the throbbing pain of losing someone else. Not while everyone else needed her.

She wanted to sob, curl in on herself for losing him – again. She didn't even know if what she saw in her mind was truly real. He said it was. God, she hoped it was because he did deserve a peaceful death. Regardless of all the chaos and hurt he's caused, Tenko deserved so much more. However, he was happy in bringing her back. He was finally at peace, knowing that she was okay – well at least in the last ever memory she will have of him.

Tenko was able to move on.

But... what about her?

Her heart burned from his loss. To hell with her physical injuries. Losing him, hurt so much more. She would never see him again. Feel him. It's as though she was nine years old all over again and lost him – for real this time. Seeing it – experiencing it, there was no doubt in her mind that he was gone now. There was no hope that he was alive, that he would somehow come back.

Y/ns learned to mourn all her life. She's lost so many loved ones. She couldn't keep count on how many people she's lost anymore. She was familiar with the heavy weight in her chest – with the chapter ending for those she lost. She's learned to appreciate each moment in life for this reason. Because to her, every millisecond, down to the smallest of moments. Meant everything to her. Through so much loss and heartache she learned to live in the moment.

Still, that didn't mean each time she lost someone that it hurt any less. She will never get used to this pain.

God, she wanted to burn this world. Take it all out on the people who failed him. Shake them down, and ask why? When will it ever be enough?

War never accomplished anything. The deaths will rack up, to who knows how many numbers. Many people will be affected by it. She doesn't even want to entertain the idea of knowing how many people have died so far, because she knows – she's not the only one who's lost someone today.

Whether it be a stranger or not, many have died in this war.

Regardless of the aching hole in her heart, she made a promise – has made this promise to her other lovers as well, and this time at losing someone so important to her. She will take it seriously. She will live for him. Live for her parents who were gone, for the people who were murdered from her town. For Nemuri. For those who fell so easily into darkness, not seeing an alternative. For people like Touya and Himiko.