Immaculate

Mr Blackbourne

Part Fifty-Five

Sang's POV

He closed the door behind him and I was left alone. I sank to the bed and covered my face with my hands, my body shaking still.

He had made everything right again. I had never seen so many emotions on his face before, never seen him so undone as he had been when he went to his knees in front of me.

I hadn't expected him to even follow me, but when he'd opened up that door, his face so stern I had been terrified. Not of him, I was terrified of what he would say to Victor, how this would affect us all, where we would all be when the dust settled. I had been so angry with him downstairs, taking his cold anger out on Victor when it wasn't even his fault. He had told me to stay, but I think if I'd have stayed there I would have thrown something at him. I would have screamed at him, well, I would have croaked at him; but I couldn't even bare to look at him. He was being so unfair, so unfeeling and I had to get away from him. I had not recognised him in that moment, Oh, I knew he was still Mr Blackbourne and I knew he could be cold and calculating with other people, dangerous even. But I had been shocked at how he had turned on Victor, when it was clearly my fault. I had told him and he had still been furious with Victor and it had lit my own anger brightly.

I had got up and walked away with from him, because it seemed the safest thing to do, but he had just followed me. He was so angry when he started to talk to me. I could see it swirling in his eyes and then it had just gone, leaving his eyes softer, and then he had gone to his knees and called me by my name and everything slotted into place.

I loved the command behind how he called me Miss Sorenson and sometimes, the way he would look at me and say it, it would make my toes curl and my insides clench. But when he had said Sang, I had heard the promise in his voice, the certainty that I really did belong with him, with them. He had told me that he was sorry, that he had reacted badly, that he had been worried and that had tipped him into anger. I couldn't stay angry with him. He was my Mr Blackbourne, my everything.

I looked at the clothes in my hand and got up, dressing quickly.

I would beg Victor to forgive me; I had put him into a difficult position and that had been unfair of me. I hoped he could forgive me. Things had gone from being so good to being a complete mess, just because I couldn't do something as simple as take a shower without turning it into a major drama.

I still don't see how Mr Blackbourne thinks he's going to fix this, and I still feel guilty that I had given him yet one more thing to sort out. He had told me that he wanted me to tell him, that he wanted to fix things for me and I had believed him. But that didn't stop the feelings that I just had too many problems to give him. I know he said he wanted to, but there was just so much. My mother, Marie, my father, my stupid phobias, my nightmares, I am completely broken and I can't help but wonder what he'll do when he finds out that some things just can't be fixed. Would he regret it then? Would he regret me?

A soft knock on the door had me lifting my head and calling out to come in. Was it Victor?

Mr Blackbourne poked his head around the door. He had waited for me.

He gave me his millimetre smile and coming further in he held out his hand to me.

I stepped forward and took it, his fingers curled around mine but he made no move to leave. Instead he drew me towards me and kissed me gently.

"Dr Green has explained what happened. They are worried about you and they will show this. If it gets too much, tell me and I will stop them."

I nodded and reaching onto my toes I kissed him gently, I made to move away but he caught me to him, his hand leaving mine to grip my hip. He turned me until my back was against the wall and then he was kissing me harder, his tongue sliding over my lips demanding entrance. Which I gave willingly. I would give him anything.