Immaculate

You're not listening!

Thank you so much for your votes and comments on the last chapter.  I'm blown away with the response to be honest. :D  They still have a way to go, but.... TOSoE comes out tomorrow. yay!  I can't promise anything until I have devoured that. :)  But then I think most people will be pouncing on it as soon as they can. :)

It's a short one tonight, but I wanted to get something up before release day!!!  It's also angsty for a bit, and Dr Green curses a little, but only because he's frustrated and desperate.

Sang's POV

I woke up disorientated and gritty eyed.  It took me a few moments to get my bearings, I was still fully dressed and lying on my bed.  The room was quiet, the house was quiet and for two seconds I was confused.  Until it all came back to me and with a groan I rolled over onto my back and covered my eyes with my hand.

I had asked them to leave and they had done just that, and it broke my heart.  I had thrown them out, told them that I didn't want to talk to them.  I had refused to speak to Mr Blackbourne and he had left too.  

My earlier anger had dimmed slightly.  I was still cross that there was double standards, but I also knew it was something that we were going to have to sit down and talk about.  I knew that it couldn't be all sunshine and daisies all the time and that we were bound to argue over things, but this was too dividing.  It was them on one side and me on the other.  We were not united and ultimately it could break us, and it could break us quickly.  They didn't trust me and they said I didn't trust them and I think they were probably right.  Mr Blackbourne had intimated that I would have said something the moment it crossed my mind to text Volto if I trusted them.

They wanted me to think, tell them and then react; I couldn't say that I would ever be able to master that.  I was independant in my thinking, I had always had to be, and I don't think that was something that I could unlearn.  They wanted me to be independent, Mr Blackbourne and Dr Green were always telling the others that I needed time on my own, that I had to be able to be independent of them.  But it seemed that didn't stretch to making my own decisions, that had to be done after telling them.  If that was the trust they wanted from me I was always going to be disappointing them.  I couldn't, wouldn't be able to do that.

I sat up, rubbing my hands over my face, I would change and use the bathroom.  I checked my phone it was only 2 in the morning still, but I couldn't imagine going back to sleep now.  There was far too much going on in my mind and none of it was optimistic.  

It felt like the beginning of the end.

I loved them, loved them with everything I had, but if they couldn't trust me and I couldn't trust them, it was not going to work.  Mr Blackbourne said that I would need to trust them completely if they were going to introduce me to the Academy.  If I didn't, they would take me away and that thought terrified me.  But what terrified me more was losing them but if this wasn't resolved I would do just that.  I loved them completely, but I couldn't be what they wanted me to be.

I used the bathroom quietly. Marie was asleep, no light showing under her door.  I had been almost blown away with the way she had stood up for me, and it was the one thing that was good in this whole horrible mess.