Mystery from Another World--MHA

Part 152: Compromising

Mirko stayed up all night.

About 6 am, Shine called her.

"You get back all right?"

"Yeah..." Mirko said flatly, "Almost beat the crap out of the weaver...didn't get very far."

Shine didn't act at all surprised. "I won't say she was right."

"You better d--- well not say that." Mirko was still livid. "I can't forgive that..."

"It's better not to say we can't forgive," Shine said quietly, "Just acknowledge it was wrong and move on."

"I can't do that. I've never been so ineffective on a job."

"Rumi...I know it's a little soon. It wasn't even 12 hours ago, for crying out loud. We're all shaken... I didn't sleep. I'm sure you didn't either...but I came home here to people who care about me, and I have someone I can trust to talk to...several someones...and I'm just saying, if you need any of that...I'm here. We all are."

Mirko bit her lip. "I'm good."

"You're not."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You do," Shine said, then, "We're not in competition, you know. I don't win if you need something. I don't care about it. You don't need to beat me. If that's acceptable to you. What happened wasn't your fault."

"Yet, even though I knew, I couldn't do anything."

"I wouldn't call helping Ryuku nothing. Saving one person is just as important as saving a lot. We don't count saves."

"I can count the death toll."

Pause.

"All right, Rumi...we shouldn't overlook that, I know," Shine said, and she sounded a little fragile.

 "Goodness knows, I feel awful every time...but, here's the thing-- failing to save someone is not a crime. It's not killing them. And we can't decide who lives, who dies always. We can just be tools to help or to hurt. That's what I think. I've dedicated my life to helping take away the pain of the world in whatever form I can. I think sometimes just being there with someone, giving them a hug, a kind word, it's all just as important as saving their life. And it may save their life, someday. All our experiences shape us later on. 

"And I'd say, for my money, if you were trying to help, regardless of how much it succeeded, which is something that never depends solely on our own effort, you were just as much a hero as you ever have been. Even better, no one was watching. It wasn't a job...no clout... Someday, you'll have to learn we don't get to call the shots for other people, just ourselves, and not even then, usually. One of my personal heroes, king David, once said, 'Lord, make me to know my end', [Psalm 39:4]  and another says 'teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.' [Psalms 90:12]. In the end, God doesn't call us to account for the end results of our efforts, just for why we did them. Perhaps that is small comfort to you, as you care what society and other heroes are going to think...but I don't, and for me, it's comforting to know that."

"Sounds like a cop out," Mirko said.

Pause.

"Do you have any idea how insensitive you are?" Shine suddenly sounded hurt. "I just went through a traumatic experience, same as you did, and I'm trying to help, and you insulted me."

Even Mirko felt kind of crushed by that.

"I... Sorry, I didn't mean to do that," she said, "I...just...I don't know. That's what I'd tell myself."

"I know that," Shine said, "but that is no excuse not to think about my feelings before you say it. Perhaps you don't have friends, Rumi, because you don't want them, but here's the thing-- if you're going to interact with human beings at all, you'd better treat them like humans."