Mystery from Another World--MHA

Part 135: Some Therapy

[Song is meant to set tone of chapter. It's Ice Cold by Half Alive.]

"I can't believe they called you in the middle of the night to deal with that," Wally said over breakfast the following morning.

"I can't believe you went," Bakugo remarked, disgusted, "They'll think you're a pushover."

"I'd take Rumi seriously if she ever deigned to ask me for help." Shine yawned and stirred her coffee. "But I confess, I think I really need to chillax for a while."

"You're feeling better, right?" Momo said. They'd become aware of Shine feeling down after the Nomu's attack.

"I...still have moments of feeling weird...sad...horrified." Shine grimaced. "But it's fading.... Lot's of prayer, you know. I talked to Cece about it too. You know, she says I have a complex where I take on more responsibility than I should, and I make myself the bad guy to avoid anyone else being attacked? She told me that least week in our session."

"Wait...you have sessions?" Shoto said.

"You didn't know that?" Jiro said, "She mentioned it a lot."

"Ah, Todoroki's just oblivious to anything that goes on around here," Kaminari said.

Shoto reddened a little. Was he really that out of it?

"Nezu wants all the staff to have sessions," Shine said, "I could have refused, but I like Cece. She makes Iida crazy and doesn't take any crap from anyone. Right, Katsuki?"

Bakugo made a huffing sound.

"Anyway, she's right... I didn't even notice it." Shine took a sip. "But I do make myself the bad guy."

Wally gestured widely. "Mind blown, right? I knew that already. I just didn't have the words for it."

"No, it made sense once she said it... I always redirect negative attention back to me," Shine said.

"Why would you want to do that?" Jiro said. It sounded really stressful.

"I grew up with the blame being put on me for everything," Shine said, "My father was unstable and lashed out at any near target. I had the guts to stand up to him and tell him no, so he picked on me constantly. I took it as the alternative to being a fragile pushover. I refused to cater to him...and he never forgave me for it."

To admit that about your parents openly was rather taboo in the world of heroes and UA, so they all stared at her, not sure how to react.

Shine didn't seem to see anything wrong with what she said. She took a bite of toast. "Then, you know, I had to step up and act like the mature one to my family once we caught on to his crap. I had to. No one else would. So I took on a lot of the emotional weight... In one way, it made me very aware of how much other people can be affected by one person's actions, and I think more carefully about mine...but in another, I feel responsible for everybody...too much so. So this is where I land. But I'm working on it, and my wonderful partner here has helped me a lot to get over it."

Wally rubbed her shoulder.

"Cece says I'm very aware of my issues, so I don't need too much therapy," Shine said, "but that it would be good to be accountable for it, to watch when I'm letting myself be made the villain... Of course we can't avoid that in life always, and don't I know it, but I should stop doing it as the easy way out to just confronting the problem." She took another bite.

"Wow...that's...way more self awareness than I have," Kaminari said, "Cece usually blows my mind. I never see it."

"Well, you just started. I went to therapy years ago," Shine explained, "I learned a lot. Cece is just sort of checking my progress and any lingering habits from those days. I'm really much better...but I confess, working here does bring up a lot of it. The amount of blame that gets passed around is crushing. It's like some death con 1 training for me to see if I can hang on to that progress."