Ghost

Chapter One Hundred Twenty Two

Spencers POV

A test subject? I'll be under someone else's control. I'll lose my freedom. I'll lose everything. I'll be poked and prodded and sliced and..

And if I have lungs, they aren't working. The pressure surrounds me. It's like I'm taking in water.

   The light is slipping from my grasp; whatever I've been staring at is going black. The ground? I think it's our carpet. We never did get rid of that carpet.

There's voices but they're about a mile away and they sound like the grown ups from Peanuts.

I was thrown off the boat and into the storm and I'm sinking quickly. I never wanted to go back to this place. It takes so long and too much energy to fight my way up.

Then.

I feel hands. On my face.

And then a face starts to form in front of me.

Sharp green eyes. Cute nose. Lips in a smile that I want to kiss.

No.

The eyes are clouded with worry. Brows are furrowed. The lips are moving.

Slowly the motions start to make sense; the noises start filling my ears.

"Spencer?" Nats voice is the first thing I truly hear.

My only response is to blink. I'm not sure if she's really in front of me, or if I'm still stuck in my mind, picturing what I wish were in front of me.

It wouldn't be the first time.

I bring my hand up to her face. I can really feel her.

I take in lungfuls of air, letting it out slowly.

Now I'm focused enough to see tears. And another head close to Nats.

It's Yelena.

After another moment, I breath out, "Nat.."

Then I'm brought into a hug and I sink into it. Letting this moment be real, even if it isn't.

Eventually I pull away.

"Are you.. am I awake? Is.. is this real?"

"Yeah.. Spence. You're here. In our home in Russia. With me and Nat," Yelena speaks to me.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I don't.. I don't know what happened.." Though I kind of do. 

"It's okay, Spencer. You scared the shit out of me. But you're okay. Can I.." Nat is hesitant.

I nod, wanting her to continue.

"Can I ask where you went? It almost seemed like you were going to pass out and then.. then your eyes kind of glazed over," the worry is dripping from her voice, thick as honey.

"Um.. I uh." I let out a long breath. "When I was with hydra.. there was a lot I didn't want to remember. So I guess my body just.. would shut down when they would.. take me.."

"Hey. I'm sorry for asking you don't have to.."

"No. Um." I shake my head, trying to clear it of any falsities. "This hasn't happened in.. years. It's like my body may be present but my mind.. takes me somewhere else."

Tasha brings me back into her and Yelena gets as close as she can, grabbing my hand.

"I can't even imagine.." Nat drifts off, tears evident as she tries to steady her voice.