Ghost

Chapter One Hundred Sixty Three

Nats POV

As Rocket points out that Spencer is the only one that could hold an infinity stone..

My heart stops.

My head is clouded; the millions of things that could go wrong rolling around in my head. Each takes a turn to plague me, only being stopped by the next one.

It's hard to breath. If I am breathing. The horrible thoughts not only having taken over my head but apparently my whole body, paralyzing me.

But also ultimately making my body go into overdrive to make up for the loss of function.

I'm hyperventilating.

I can't bring in enough oxygen.

Spencer is that oxygen.

The thought of something happening to her.. once again her being in the line of danger..

We are in such a good place. We're happy. We're married and we have our home. We want a family.

I know Spencers voice is trying to bring me back. That she's in front of me trying to calm me down, trying to help.

I know that.

But I can't process enough to listen.

Which seems ironic. She should be the one freaking out. She's the one that would have to do it. She's the one they're trying to sacrifice.

Maybe not, but it feels like it.

Because I know Spencer. I know she will do anything for anyone, especially the people she loves.

So I know that this.. could help everyone. This could make it so no one else has to sacrifice themselves.. she'll do it.

And as my mind finally recognizes her expression; it's worried, for me. But I can also see the resolve there. And I am not going to let this happen.

"No," I finally speak.

"Nat, we aren't saying anything yet.."

"No. No fucking way. She's not doing it," I'm shaking my head profusely.

"No one said she had to. We haven't even decided.." I don't know who is talking but I don't care.

"There is no fucking way I'm letting this happen." I turn on them. "You know she would do it. Look at her! She's already decided she would do it. She's willing to risk her life for this stupid fucking fight."

I turn back to her, gearing up for more. No one speaks up.

"You are out of your damn mind if you think you are doing this, Spencer."

She opens her mouth, but doesn't say anything.

"No. Don't even try to argue with me. This could destroy you!"

"Nat, I.."

"NO! No. No."

She takes ahold of my hands and brings them to her. I lower my head, letting it fall with the tears.

"Love. If I can help.. I have to. With everything I did and what I use to be.. I have to do this. I have to make up for it."

I'm shaking my head, but I can't actually bring myself to speak. Anger and hurt boiling over, I'm not sure which one will win out.

"No.. I can't lose you.." it comes out in a whisper. Pain wins.

"You won't lose me, love. I'm sure we'll do this as safely as possible. But they're right; I am the only one that can hold an infinity stone without being harmed.."