Ghost

Chapter One Hundred Seventy

Spencer POV

We talked to Tony that next day and he was more than happy to help us along with the process assuring us that he knew the right people to get the ball rolling.

He understood we didn't want to tell anyone until we were further along in the process.

But he was still so happy for us that he couldn't stop smiling. He even mentioned how excited Morgan will be to have someone to play with. We were excited to know that they would have someone like Morgan to look up to and have as an older sibling figure.

We stayed there awhile just talking to him about it all. The more we talk about it, the more real it feels and it's enthralling.

And then with each step we completed, the excitement just got more real. We had all of the paper work done and figured out, talked to the right people about our home. They wanted to know if we had any specifics for an age range or anything like that.

It wasn't long before we had done everything we could do and just had to wait for them to let us know.

In all truth, the time flew by as we went through all of the steps. The weeks seemed like days.

But as soon as all of that was done and the waiting began.. well, the days seemed more like weeks.

The excitement was there, but it seemed more and more like a far away dream. We didn't talk about it as much. The room for our new family member was complete and decorated, but we stopped going through it and adding to it.

It started to feel more and more like it wasn't going to happen. And.. it was hard to encourage each other that it was going to happen.

It made it hard to talk about.. other stuff, too. Knowing that all of our future plans were suppose to involve a child of our own.. well planning and talking about it without them.. it made it all.. difficult.

But I'm trying my best to stay positive for Nat. I know it'll happen eventually, and we definitely still want kids, so keeping that in mind has helped.

I'm just trying to do everything I can to make this easier for her. She's been such a light in my life, I refuse to let any darkness cloud over her.

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Nats POV

Waiting to hear from the adoption agency has been torture. They processed our papers and interviews so quickly I guess we got our hopes up.

      We already had the walk through of our home and passed with flying colors.

      Still nothing.

I can tell it's getting to Spencer. She's doing her best to hide it and stay encouraging around me, and she's doing a great job. But I know my wife. I can tell when things get to her, even though she's really good at hiding it.

She can't keep it hidden from me.

So I'm doing my best to stay positive around her, too.

Realistically we're both trying to keep a brave front in front of the other when we both know it's been difficult.

I don't want doubt to plague her mind as it has clouded mine. Not about her but of my own abilities. I was so confident before but time is chipping away at that.

And I can't let that happen.

So, I'm looking for her as we speak.

I know we still don't like to talk a lot about our feelings that much, but with each other we have an open policy; all of our feelings are valid. We can speak freely with each other with no worry of judgement and we know the other is there for us no matter what.