Lover Boy💔(A Changlix Story)

xxxii 😢

"JEONGIN, Jisung, let's go." Chan said as soon as he locked eyes with Changbin. Jisung immediately ran to the door and left the dorm, following the eldest's instructions. "Come on Jeongin." Chan said as he started to drag the younger along with him. Jeongin immediately pulled away and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Wait- what's happening? Tell me Chan-hyung." Jeongin stated. "Innie please, this is not the time." Chan said before pressing a soft kiss on the latter's forehead. Jeongin sighed defeatedly and he followed the older out the door.

Changbin slipped his shoes off and he slowly approached the locked door.
"Felix..." He softly muttered. Silence. Changbin gently knocked on the door. "If you're not gonna let me in, promise me you'll at least listen." He heard shuffling of bedsheets until he saw the shadow of feet in the gap underneath the door.
"I'm listening..." Felix muttered.
"I've got a lot to admit because Felix... this- this is all my fault..."

Before Changbin knew it, he started to cry. It had been years since the last time he cried. He felt like he was falling apart and that his world was crashing down. He didn't meant for any of this to happen.
"Changbin-" Felix instantly reached for the doorknob but soon stopped himself. He knew if he ran towards the older and hugged him tightly like he wanted, he would never let go.

He had to stay strong.

"I'm so fucking sorry... all I do is mess shit up... I should've said something instead let you think the worst. I love you Lee Felix and I've hurt you. After you admitted you liked me, I should've just said what I truly felt but I left you hanging and before I knew it, the damage had already been done...
I have made many mistakes.

There's a lot of things I should've and could've done, but honestly I was scared Lix... I was scared that I had fell for you so easily. Remember when you caught me writing 'Cause I Like You'? You asked me who the song was about. Out of panic and fear I lied. The song wasn't about Hyunjin... it had always been about you. I admit that for the past months I have used Hyunjin to make you jealous...

I did all of this crap because I desperately want you to be mine and only mine. I'm scared at this point. Even you somehow still wanted me, I'm scared I'll go back to my ways and break your heart again. You deserve so much better than some guy like me. I let my own insecurities feed your own.

You're a beam of light Felix and you're like my sunshine. You're kind, caring, talented and you have such an amazing presence. I love your laugh, your smile, the way your eyes light up when you're genuinely happy. I miss your smile when we're apart. I need you Felix..."

Felix unlocked the door and watched a mess of the boy he loved. He kneeled to be face to face with the sobbing Changbin.
"Come here..." Felix said in a warm comforting tone. The older continued to cry and he refused to look up.

The younger with his hand, lightly raised Changbin's chin till their eyes were locked. Felix removed his touch and he brought Changbin into the tightest hug possible. Admittedly it hurt, a lot, but it was what the older needed. Changbin hadn't felt so warm in so long and wrapped his arms around the younger, giving every ounce of love he had to offer.

"You always give the best hugs." Felix muttered.
Changbin pulled away and held Felix's head in his hands. "I'm so sorry Lix..." Changbin stammered. The younger smiled and placed a soft and gentle kiss on top of the older's forehead. "You're wearing my hoodie..." Changbin happily muttered as he inspected the younger.

"Of course I am. I'm still extremely hurt and I appreciate your apology but-" the Australian felt his breath hitch "-you like Hyunjin though... don't you?" Felix whispered, tears slowly running down his cheeks.

"W-what?" Changbin stuttered in shock.
"You can't be in love with two people at once. I know you said you used Hyunjin to make me jealous, but I can't help but feel there are some underlying real feelings."

The two stood up and Changbin was speechless.
"It's fine though... you can go after Hyunjin, that's totally fine, if that's what you want at least."
"Felix... I just... fuck- I just keep giving myself bigger and bigger problems. I do admit, I've had some feelings for Hyunjin but at the same time I really like you Felix, I really do." Changbin said as he held the younger's hands tight.
"I don't want to wait around for someone who is confused and not ready... I can't do that, you know that right?"

Felix slipped his hands out of Changbin's and he sighed. "We're just gonna stick with being friends. You can try get Hyunjin or not and that's it. We're not gonna be a thing unless I truly know that I'm definitely what you want Changbin. I'm a lot to handle and I need someone who is willing to put there all in." Felix stated, staring deep right into Changbin's eyes. "I am willing to commit."
"I have no doubt, I just don't think we're ready."

Changbin watched Felix in sorrow as the latter walked away. "I would be the happiest guy on Earth if we worked out Binnie, but at this point I don't think it's ever going to happen..." Felix walked out of the dorm, leaving Changbin all alone to his thoughts. What was he going to do? He couldn't go after Hyunjin even if we wanted to, Seungmin and Hyunjin were already a thing. Changbin still had some feelings for Hyunjin, he just had to figure out how to get rid of them.