Lover Boy💔(A Changlix Story)

lvi 👩‍🏫

"SAN- I don't know..." Wooyoung stammered with uncertainty. "Well what I said before I transferred is still true." The older was clear with his words and looked deep into Wooyoung's eyes with a soft smile.
"San..." The younger didn't know how to feel. He could've leapt over the moon from the overwhelming amount of joy flowing through his body or he could've melted into a puddle from sadness at a sudden realisation.

"You're engaged." Wooyoung sighed and melted into his seat, no longer maintaining eye contact with San.
"I know, but I'm not in love with her and she's not in love with me." The older reiterated.
"How could you still be in love with me? We haven't talked in so long- I'm probably so different now to the Wooyoung you fell in love with, you can't-"
"But I do, I know I do."

Wooyoung snapped. Out of frustration he grasped his hair and silently groaned to himself.
Why did it have to be like this...

Say yes.
Say no.
Maybe?

"No... you have to stop San." The younger crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. He stared at the floor and wouldn't dare to look across the table.
"But why? I- I don't understand..." San replied, his heart breaking into a million pieces.
"You're already engaged and you can't break it off, who knows that Yeji's or even your father will do."
"It really isn't fair."
"Life isn't fair...

You know how much I cared for you San... but things are different now. I honestly think we've grown apart and that's what's killing me, because I want to believe there's still a chance for us. A dumb part of me is just ready to go along with whatever crazy, spontaneous plan you have up your sleeve for us to be together...

But I've waited too long. You just ghosted me and gave me no explanation. I do love you and I hate that I do and I hate that you love me too because I wanted and needed you for so long, even ever since we were kids... How fair is it that once you come back to waltz into my life that you can have me again? Life isn't some musical, San... open your fucking eyes...

I'm not going to be some 'damsel in distress' waiting for you because I want to be done with that. For the last months I have been just watching you and your perfect life... I can't do that anymore. I don't want to be that clingy boy anymore because you have everything you need and I need to find someone who'll be there for me. I don't want you to get hurt and I don't want to get hurt. Just leave me alone, San. I'm so sick of it.

What is it that I have to do, to fall out of love..."

"You really feel that way?"
"Of course, would I lie to you."
"Would you like me to leave?"
"If you could... yes..."
San stood up from his seat and stepped away from the table and gave a soft sigh. His hypnotic eyes now filled with fresh tears.

"For the past few months my dad has been in charge of my whole entire life, in every aspect. Even who I text, follow on social media, who I call and he even manages my Instagram. That's why I haven't talked to you and that's why you see so much of Yeji there."

"Why is he so controlling over your phone?"
"Because he saw our old text messages and confronted me about them. I came out to him and told him about my feelings for you... He screamed at me, hit me, smashed my phone." San shoved his hands back into his pockets and he swallowed dry.

"He knew how close we were and after he found out about my sexuality, he had an idea about us. My father knew immediately I would've dropped everything to be with you. All the privileges, every cent I was ever given, anything. I'm only here because I convinced my father to let me transfer back to our school for a while. I wanted to see you again."

Wooyoung felt his heart skip a beat and he suddenly felt like embracing the older at that very moment. It really was never San's intention to hurt Wooyoung but how could've he told him? He was constantly at close watch since the incident, it hurt him as much as it hurt for Wooyoung, maybe even more.

"But if you want me to leave you alone, I will. I'll try to avoid you and our friends." The younger regretted her opening his mouth. He really never wanted San to go, but he didn't know how to help the both get what they both truly desired: Each other.

It wasn't fair to both him and definitely San. Trying to not hurt himself, he had hurt San in the worse way possible... heartbreak.

"I would tell you all of the reasons why I want to stay but you've made it crystal clear you want nothing to do with me." San approached the door and Wooyoung found himself following the older but refusing to leave the cafe with the latter. "I still love you... have a good life, Wooyoung." The older gave a small yet hesitant smile and walked away.

It was so unfair. Wooyoung wanted to get over his dumb feelings, but nothing could top San's irresistible charms. It wasn't teasing, the older just happened to be genuinely sweet and endearing, traits that Wooyoung adored. The younger watched as San became less and less visible til' he could barely see his silhouette in the distance.

He was meant to feel proud and happy that he hadn't fallen into his temptations but Wooyoung felt guilty and that he had made a huge mistake. Wasn't that what he was meant to feel? Slight guilt just to easily get over it, he wasn't confident he'd be able to get over that stage.

It felt different. This time he really felt like he had thrown away such an amazing part of his life that meant all of the world to him. There was no excuse for that.

"Wooyoung? Are you okay?" Changbin said as he approached the boy standing alone at the door step. "Did the conversation not go well?"
"I'm honestly not sure what just happened... San was telling me the truth about his fiancé and why he hadn't been taking to me for the past few months."
"Mhm... that reminds me of my friend Jake."
"Do tell."

"When I lived back in Australia, Jake, Chan and I were the closest of friends but, one day Chan left to go train in an entertainment company and then soon, after a year later, Jake did the same.

Over the next few years, every few weeks Chan would message me quite briefly but Jake didn't say one word.

He told me it was because he knew if he contacted me, he would've immediately would've come back to Australia. His parents forced him to audition so his family wouldn't be disappointed in him."

"San said something quite similar... Both Jake and San put their families first to make them proud and to please them and because of that, people close to them got hurt too..."

All San wanted to do was to make his family happy...