Lover Boy💔(A Changlix Story)

lxx 🦮

FELIX fiddled with the straw of his drink. He carefully took a sip, his hands gripping on the cold cup as he enjoyed the sweet tea. He stared from the window and he watched many cars drive by. The outside world was chaotic and overwhelming but the certain cafe he was now sitting in, had always been calm and silent.

He heard a little jingle from the door, indicating a new customer and arrived. Felix smiled when he recognised the boy and he in fact was the one he was waiting to meet with.
"Jake!" The older waved to the latter from his seat excitedly as he was happy to see his friend.
"Felix!" The younger quickly gave his order to the staff and he practically ran over to the older's table.

"How are you? I feel like we haven't talked in so long." Jake said as he took a seat across from Felix's seat. "It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm surprised you found time outside of training to meet me here, I really appreciate it." The older smiled.
"Of course, my group is quite close to debut and I know I will get a 1000x busier but, I'll always try to keep in touch. I have 3 years of making up to do."

The latter smiled and looked to his hands. Jake had always been a considerate and caring friend. It meant a lot to Felix that he could tell their friendship meant as much to Jake as it did to him.
"Thank you..." Felix muttered. His heart broke at the realisation as to why he had even invited the younger to their meeting. His breath hitched and he sighed.
"Lix? Is something wrong?" Jake asked as he held the older's shaky hands.

"I really need to tell you something."
"You can tell me anything."
The older slipped his hands away and he felt at the urge of tears. He suddenly felt guilty. Felix built so much resentment towards Jake when he had left Australia and now he was the doing the same. He felt hypocritical and such a terrible person.
"Jake... I-"
"Order 137! One iced Americano, less ice."

The younger jumped up from his seat and smiled after excusing himself to get his drink. The older's heart somehow was beating even faster and much more frequently. Felix felt even more nervous to tell his friend. He didn't take Jake's leave well, so how was the younger going to react?

Drink in hand, Jake with a smile took his seat once more. "I'm back!" The boy placed the drink onto the table and looked back to the older who was completely petrified. "So~ what did you want to tell me?" He asked curiously before sipping his coffee. Felix nervously bit the inside of his cheek, but he remembered what Changbin had always told him whenever he knew he was worried.

~

"Just breath in and out. Inhale for 4, hold for 3 and exhale for 2." Changbin commented as Felix frantically paced around the dorm as he waited for his father to arrive. "How is breathing going to calm me down, Changbin? I breathe all the time."
"Then close your eyes and when I'm not with you, pretend I'm holding your hand."

The younger's eyes flickered and his heart skipped a beat. His boyfriend always knew what to say despite Changbin repeatedly saying he didn't.
"I- I guess I could give it a try..." Felix closed his eyes and sighed before following Changbin's steps.

1. Inhale for 4
The Australian took as much air as he could and he started to feel himself focusing on his inhale rather than his worries. His tensed muscles relaxed and he zoned in on his breath.

2. Hold for 3
He suddenly felt his thoughts cloud.
"You'll never be good enough."
"You can't achieve anything."
"You're a failure."

His eyes watered and he felt at the brink of tears. Such little time yet such big impact. He couldn't stop hearing his fathers words over and over again and it felt like he was drowning.

He couldn't breath. His head was stuck underwater with no one to help. His fists clenched until a gentle touch sent a shiver down his spine. Changbin carefully slipped his hand into Felix's, immediately calming down the younger.

3. Exhale for 2
It was the older's touch that brought him comfort. Changbin was all he needed to be happy. As long as he had his boyfriend by his side, he had nothing to worry about.

~

But this time was different. The two were on a break and at the very moment, imagining Changbin was there tightly holding his hand made Felix feel even worse. He hated the feeling. He wanted to imagine the scenario knowing fully well that Changbin was his boyfriend, but they were still on their break.

It didn't feel very comforting anymore.

"Are you okay, Felix? You sort of zoned out." The older asked as he waved his hand in front of the younger's blank face. "Y-yeah... sorry..." Felix stammered, replying to the younger.
"What's going on? You sorta seem out of it."
"I- I just you know... have a lot on my mind."
"You can tell me anything."

Felix huffed to himself and took one last sip of his drink to then finally look into Jake's eyes. The younger leaned onto his elbow, his coffee in his other hand. He sipped his drink as he patiently waited for Felix's confession.

"I'm moving back to Australia for the next month and I'm leaving at the end of the week." The older finally blurted out, eyelids shut to avoid the angry look in the younger's eyes... but in fact, Jake wasn't angry at all.