V & V - Rageous Rageon Rise

Showing And Accepting

Dom POV:

Dom: "S-So... I... have not had a good past. You know Veneer?"

Mateo nods before he surprises me and gets comfy behind me on the bed. He kicks his shoes off before lying down.

I angle myself so I can see him. From literally out of nowhere, I see that he's started to crochet something.

The soft clinks of the needles clinking together are, for some reason, very calming.

I stop watching him and focus on the difficult conversation I need to have.

Dom: "I had met Veneer at a music event with my brothers. Kid Ritz was there. Over time, I got close to Veneer... but I did it badly. I... was controlling, and I... I."

I stop, feeling sick I'm even talking about this to Mateo. I can do it with my therapists because that's what I pay them for.

But... Mateo. He's so sweet, and he makes me genuinely happy. I... I have to live with the fact that... I will probably lose him over this.

It's my karma.

Dom: "I was abusive with Veneer in that I... used my magic in conjuring and snow to... try to kill him and Kid Ritz. Or, at least, torture them. I was mad with power; I wanted to rule over everyone; I didn't see Veneer or Kid Ritz as something more than things in my life I could have at my disposal."

I stand up and walk away as Mateo stops crocheting.

Dom: "I... I didn't feel anything but hate and hurt and anger. I wanted to be famous for ruling Mount Rageous. I figured Ven would go along and do whatever I wanted him to. I... I wasn't sorry for anything that was happening, not even after I let my brothers and friends turn into monsters. I didn't feel anything. I didn't care or take responsibility."

I rub my head, my temple hurting terribly.

Dom: "Kid Ritz... I came to him and the others for help. I was being chased by Veneer. His magic was so strong. I wasn't ready for it. I came to Kid Ritz... and... he gave me the emotions I was missing from my life. His magic gave me empathy... and guilt... and... shame. I felt what it meant to be embarrassed and emotional, and... it hurt. It hurt so badly. I think it's the greatest gift I've been given, as he forced me to learn what it means to be... Rageon, and not just a hateful and killing machine."

I hang my head low as I wipe my tears away. I shouldn't be crying. I'm not a victim here.

Dom: "I feel better about everything now. I know I'm not a victim. I... was the villain. I know I hurt many. I know I hurt my... my own family. I will never forgive myself for Veneer and Kid Ritz's hurting. I'll never forgive myself for allowing Carlos and Midori to be... be sent to Alcapizazz. I have so many regrets and... I carry that with me in shame. I... wanted to tell you all of this because it's important you know about it. I am not proud of myself and... I do not want you to... to."

I stop, my heart breaking. There's no chance for something between us now. I know.

It's just another heartbreak. I'm not capable of loving someone else after what I did. I know I don't deserve that kindness and privilege.

I take a deep breath, then flinch as I feel my hand being held. I'm given a gentle hug from behind.

It... it feels good. Mateo hugs my waist and rests his head against my back for a second before pulling away.

He turns me to face him and looks up at me. He reaches and wipes my tears away, the feeling confusingly... comforting.

Mateo: "I felt your heart and the cold. I was not sure why it was... frozen. I thought food, drink? It would help?"