Bonds - The Past Echoes | MHA Reader-Insert

To Find Not Them, It

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The next day was difficult for Mimitaka Hikisaku. The night before as well, actually. Aside from the physical pain that she endured, the mental anguish she felt far exceeded anything she's ever experienced in her life.

Of course, she grieved the loss of her family to no end, literally, as she never really stopped mourning them. But, your disappearance was an extension of theirs, transforming a perpetually angry young woman into one that knew only misery.

Plopped onto her couch by Aizawa, as she continued to refuse to move a muscle, Hikisaku struggled to fall into the good graces of sleep. In her mental state, it wouldn't have provided her any solace anyway. All the negative thoughts that kept her awake saved her from having to experience horrid nightmares.

Nothing her brain could come up with however, was remotely close to being as devastating as reality.

'Y/N. You're gone.....You were the only good thing I had left.' She thought to herself hopelessly.

That was far from an exaggeration. What did she have to her name now? There were certainly people in the class that thought of her as their friend, but she did not see them in the same way.

Then there was her mother. Oh boy, your mother. That same mother who pushed her away into a separate apartment, to live on her own. Forgoing her duties, you were forced to care for your sister. And you loved doing it.

You didn't want to take care of Hikisaku, to keep her happy. You needed to. Love guided you to do whatever she required and requested.

In the same, twisted vein, Hikisaku didn't want you to be with her. She needed you. That was true yes, but she didn't believe this was the reason she chased after Psycher, as he described.

God. She must really have been thinking dark thoughts if she actually began listening to that psychopath.
Realizing this was when she decided to try and quiet her mind for the night. But an active mind was the sworn enemy of sleep, a deterrent that she desperately wanted gone.

She eventually managed to fall asleep, but not soundly. To keep herself from slipping into a dream, she woke herself up every thirty minutes or so. It was such an exhausting task that it nullified the sleep that she did get.

By the time morning came, Hikisaku wasn't tired in the least. Not because she was well rested, she was far from it, but because she didn't feel it. Or anything else for that matter, as her unfading anguish continued to occupy all parts of her mind.

She wasn't going to escape this self-inflicted torment any time soon. Not when the only people who could soothe her were the reason she was in pain.

With a disgruntled groan, Hikisaku sat up to begin the day. If the saddened girl had her way, she'd stay in her "bed" for at least a whole other day.
Despite knowing full well what was going through her head at the moment, Aizawa would probably come up to get her himself if she didn't show up for class.

With less vigor than normal and an uncharacteristic lack of care, Hikisaku prepared herself for the day. A smattering of makeup, a poor attempt at styling her hair, and simply sliding her uniform on. These things central to her image she no longer cared for.

Opening her dorm room weakly and entering the hall, she trudged all the way into the common room/dining room/kitchen trifecta, where she was immediately questioned by Midoriya. He could interpret from her...everything that she was in no mood to talk.