The Third Journal

Pages 159+160

Holt and Roy told us to keep the details of our adventure with Quentin Trembley to ourselves, but we had to tell somebody! Bella ended up telling Fiddleford, and Stan and I thought Ria was a safe bet. Boy, were we wrong!

This morning, Stan and I came downstairs and found Ria sleeping in a giant tub of peanut brittle in the middle of the living room. She was trying to preserve herself so she could "Check out the Distant Future Dudes!!" She had a straw sticking out of the peanut brittle so she could breathe, and illustrations of how she thought future technology would look.

Stan saw a great opportunity for a prank. First, we ransacked the gift shop for some cardboard boxes, and then used up all of Graunty Mabel's tinfoil. Bam! Perfect future costumes.

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Next, we got a wig to put on Ria to make it look like her hair had grown wild. Then we started Mabel's fog machine, turned the lights out, and threw a couple of flashing yo-yos behind the couch and hit the alarm clock.

Ria awoke with a start, and Stan chanted, "Beep bop. Welcome to the future, Past-Woman! It is the year Bleventy-Billion! Tell us your ways of the past," while I told her she had awoken from Mega-Sleep. The Cyborg People of Earth were losing Plasma War V to the Venusian?Amphibian Alliance.

I called her "The One Calculated to Save Us" and asked her to help us win "the Great War against Admiral Laser-Face."

Ria bought it HARD. She was ready to join the battle till she stepped into the hallway and saw her reflection in the mirror. She knew right away that the wig was fake. Apparently, her hair won't grow any longer than it already is.

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching "Return Backwards to the Past Again 3" and eating peanut brittle. It's too bad time travel isn't actually real.