The Third Journal

Pages 251+252

DIPPER'S JOURNAL

I'm very worried Bill might try to play tricks Stanford's mind. In order to prevent this, I have decided to employ one of my old devices:

The Mind Reader

I hope to encrypt his thoughts or "Bill-proof" his mind.

Stray thoughts I noticed in Ford's head:

-"I'm itchy. Why am I always itchy? Will I be itchy forever?"

-"I hope 'Ghost Harassers' lasts another few seasons."

-"I really wish Bella had never showed me lemons."

-"I hope Dipper's not looking too closely at these thoughts."

-"Try to think of nothing. Ugh, that was something!"

The procedure takes hours to complete, and when I fell asleep waiting, my clever nephew used the Mind Reader to see into my mind. My jumbled memories made him believe that I was still in cahoots with Bill, and he defended himself with Candy's memory gun.

What a disaster! And the whole thing could've been avoided if I had just come clean about Bill. It's time that I tell Stanford everything, regardless of what he thinks of me afterward.

-----

I've told Ford my history with Bill, and to my great relief, he was very understanding. Luck seems to be on our side today! Bella has returned with a large tuft of unicorn hair. We have circled the base of the Shack with it to create a...

Mystical Barrier.

Although we were unable to "Bill-proof" Ford's mind, this should make the Shack and anyone inside it impervious to Bill's power.

After our last misadventure, I realized it was time to tell Stanford everything I knew about Gravity Falls. I sat him down and told me to ask him any question he could think of about the time. No more secrets. His first question made me beam with pride:

WHY IS GRAVITY FALLS SO WEIRD?

.....

FORD'S JOURNAL

UNICORNS!

Sup losers! Bell@ is back! Me, Stan, and Fidds just returned from an INSANE adventure with some unicorns. Ford asked me to write a journal entry about them, so here we go!

The main unicorn I fought was named Celestabellebethabelle (idec if I spelled that wrong). She was supposed to be able to tell if I was 'pure of heart' but she was a lier and ####### fricken RUDE! So I'm here to write the differences between fictional unicorns and REAL unicorns. (Keep in mind my only knowledge of unicorns is from Henry Pooter and My Tiny Pony) YAY vs NEIGH, because PUNS!

-----

YAY! In fiction...

1. Their names are supposed to match their cutie mark, which represents their special talent.

2. Blood makes you live a longer but cursed life, and is silver in color.

3. Their horns do all sorts of magic that relate to their special talent.

4. Believe in the magic of friendship.

5. Their fur is so brightly white it makes snow look gray.

NEIGH! In nonfiction...

1. Her name definitely has nothing to do with her cutie mark.

2. I'd say something about the two hours they put on makeup, but I bet Rarity has taken just that long, so at least that's correct.

3. Definitely DON'T believe in the magic of friendship! At least not generosity (wouldn't give up her hair for the greater good) or kindness (she was so mean to Fidds! How dare she!)

4. Their horns only play rave music, glow, and point towards the nearest rainbow. It's pretty good music, though.

5. Number five in fiction was from HP, and in MTP it's not the case, so nonfiction is a win for MTP!

6. Their blood isn't silver, it's rainbow. And I bet it doesn't make you live longer, either. (I wouldn't taste it! Did you see what happened to Moldevort?!)

Weaknesses: Face punching, teamwork, and Stan ❤❤❤