DIPPER'S JOURNAL
Ria
Upon first seeing this specimen, I believed her to be one of the hairless gopher people of the dimension Rodentus 7. I was shocked to discover that she is actually a human adult woman.
Quarantined her for testing due to exposure to portal radiation.
Findings:
1) Hair growth seems to have ceased completely. Is she a woman? Is she a baby?
2) Giggles when prodded.
4) Seems to have consumed a nearly INFINITE amount of pizza.
That, of course, is impossible. I may need to recheck my instruments.
The strangest thing about her is her utter idolization of my sister Mabel.
T̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶r̶k̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶h̶i̶r̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶f̶a̶m̶i̶l̶i̶a̶r̶.̶.̶.̶.̶
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Daniel Corduroy
I recognized the name instantly! The second oldest employee is the teenage son of "Girly Wendy" Corduroy, the local lumberjack who helped construct my lab back in the 1980s. (I hear she's grown quite a bit since then.)
Ria had apparently told him everything about me by the time we met. He was so unfazed by seeing my that he simply said, "'Sup, Mr. Pines?" and started casually typing to her friends on one of the computing phones that seem so popular in the present.
COMPUTING PHONE
This gadget can do everything from sending a picture of a winking cat face to ruining a celebrity's career in seconds. I'll stick to my typewriter and rotary dial, thanks.
Dan complimented my turtleneck in a way that didn't seem sincere. I worry that he in appreciating me ironically.
T̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶g̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶d̶?̶
YOU ARE READING
The Third Journal
FanfictionDespite the cover, this is a Relativity Falls copy of the THIRD journal. Notes: Any words in the journal that are crossed out that aren't legible will be replaced with ##### Sometimes I'll have to use the same text style for multiple characte...
