oscar got bored☺ *DISCONTINUED*

[South Park] Cartman x Reader

Arrangement
Mean Kids - Ghost Town

~Flashback Start~

You drag him inside the school from outdoors. You'd beaten him for the first time and it looked pretty bad. You pull him off to a janitor closet and close the door, locking it and turning the light on. Begrudgingly you pull out your little medical kit your parents made you carry around. You clean up his cuts and bandage up his bruises.

"What the hell?" He hisses "One minute you're kicking my ass then the next you're mothering me!"

"Shhh keep it down" You hiss back, shushing him "People will think we're fucking or something"

Cartman crosses his arms and looks away from you pouting.

"Listen, I have a proposition for you."

He raises his eyebrow at you.

"What do you mean?" He asks

~Small Time Skip~

"Friends with benefits?" He asks tilting his head

"I know, I know.. I have a crush on you and you probably wouldn't want a relationship-" He stops you, planting a soft kiss on your lips

"Okay, but no one is to find out. I can't have my reputation ruined by some woman."

You extend your hand out to him and he takes it. You shake on it. 

~Flashback End~

You close your locker and prepare to walk to class when a crying Wendy walked up to you. You drop your books and hug her. 

"Wen what's wrong?" You ask

"Cartman is such a jerk!" She shouted

People shuffled away upon noticing the anger on your face. You push her away and hold her shoulders.

"Go find Bebe and let me handle this." You say sternly

You walk away despite her protests, cracking your different body parts. You turn a few corners and walk outside with a passive aggressive smile. You never did like recess. You quickly spot Cartman, seeing a good handful of the south park girls gathered around him. One of them notices you and gathers everyone's attention so they can back away from the scene.

"ERIC WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TIME!?" You shout

"Its CARTMAN! I set bitch-Wendy in her place!" He calls back, turning to you

You grab him by the collar of his jacket and land a hard blow to his face. He falls to the ground and gets up, punching you back. It turns into a whole fiasco with a bunch of kids chanting 'fight' over and over.

One of the teachers walk out, breaking you both apart. Cartman puts on a fake cry and tells the teacher about how you were beating him up. Red and a few other girls hold you back from attacking him. 

Let's just say the teacher didn't see it that way.

You were sent home with a few weeks of suspension. Your parents didn't even bother punishing you because they knew exactly why. This wasn't exactly a rare occurrence.

Eventually your bed time rolls around and you just lie there too fidgety to sleep.

A tapping on your window disturbs you. You peak out, seeing Cartman. Without asking you he climbs in, but you refuse to help his fat ass. 

"You realize this could be breaking and entering right?"

"I don't care." He wheezes as his feet touch the ground

"So what's up?" You ask

Cartman once again jumps out of the window once more after cursing. He once again jumps in with a black duffel bag over his shoulder.

"What's in there?"

"Cheesy poofs and GTA 5" He says casually

You wrap your arms around him. The duffel bag is dropped to the ground as you both just stand there, hugging.

"You got me suspended." You point out

"Jesus, can you not nag me?" He growls

You giggle quietly and peck his cheek. Hopefully no one found out about your little 'arrangement'.