oscar got bored☺ *DISCONTINUED*

[South Park] Kenny x Pun Loving!Reader

Warning:
* Offensive Humor
* Gore
* Death
* Depressing + Triggering

A 'Punny' Decline

Let's just say that you are a terrible person.

An axe goes flying towards Kenny and before anyone has a chance to finish their sentences, he's split in half. Blood leaks out of the wound as he does instantly.

"Oh my God, the pirate killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!"

You grin proudly as everyone glances to you, waiting for your addition to the comments.

"Looks like a splitting decision was made here today"

You always make jokes, especially at the worst times.

A lightning strike hits the nearby tree above his tent. Everyone watches as it falls on top of him just as he's scrambling to climb out. But, his bottom half is crushed by the tree.

"Oh my God, Zeus killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!"

You smile cheerfully.

"Did ya here about it? It's called '3 and a half men'."

Zeus bursts into laughter, even though it wasn't really your best work.

You are horrible, but not as horrible as the reality you lived in. One that kept killing your friend each day.

Kenny trips on a rock and ends up falling and cracking his skull open whilst checking out the new girl Jessica. It takes a moment of writhing around before he finally died.

"Oh my God, the rock.. Er.. Kenny.. Jessica.. Kenny is dead."

"You.. That.. Bastard..?"

Another tredmark smile, this one looking weaker then the last.

"I've heard about falling for people, but this is ridiculous."

Every single day it was the same. Everyone acted like it didn't keep happening.

Jesus was having a meltdown, holding you and your friends at gunpoint. The gun accidentally fires, shooting Kenny.

"Oh my God, Jesus killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!"

You don't even bother smiling this time.

"Holy shot." is all you say

But it was.

Kenny was sacrificed by the Goth kids to Cthulhu.

"Oh my God, they sacrificed Kenny!"

"You bastards"

Silent tears roll down your cheeks and you hold yourself tightly.

Everyone has a breaking point. No matter how strong.

You bang on his door loudly, Kenny was quick to answer. You slap him across the face and grip him by the shoulders, shaking him.

"Tell me I'm not crazy!"

"What the fuck is up with you?" He asks through his hood

"Tell me you keep dying and I'm not going crazy!"

His eyes widen as your shaking slows to a point where you just hold him there in place.

"Y-you remember?"

"How could I not? This isn't normal! It hurts to watch!"

He grips your shoulders and whips his hood off, pulling you into a deep kiss. He presses you up against the wall and picks you up just to hold and cling to you.

"You remember. Thank God you remember."

"Of course I do."

No matter what they say. Everyone has their moments.

"I-Immortal?"

"Yeah, I'm immortal. Only instead of living forever unable to die, I die and continue my life as I'd nothing happened. I age like a normal person, I just do a weird restart sort of thing."

"I need to sit down."

"Go ahead."

You plop down on his bed with a hand over your heart, trying to calm the rapid beating.

"So.. You always come back? No matter what?"

"No matter what."

"That's great! This.. This is great!"

You nearly tackle him in a hug, surprising him.

"So even when I die I'll get to see you! Cause you'll occasionally die!"

He cringes at this.

"I guess so."

You can try to keep things together, but it doesn't always work that way.

A hammer collides with Kenny's head. The field trip to a construction sight most likely was a bad choice on Mr. Garrison's part.

"Oh my God, the worker killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!"

Your tredmark smile dawns on your face.

"I guess it was just hammer time."

But when it does work that way, it's something beautiful.

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Awh I really liked this ending. It's cute in its on kinda twisted way. UvU