Andy Biersack imagines

8. Leaving for Tour

A/N: might be triggering: mentions anxiety/panic attacks, self harm, suicide

-------------Raven's POV-------------

I hate when these days come. Andy is leaving for tour again. I hate it when he leaves.

"I'll miss you" I say to him while hugging him as tight as I can.

"I'll miss you more"

We were both almost crying and hugged for about 5 minutes straight until his tour manager pretty much had to pull us away from each other. His tour manager wouldn't allow me to go on tour, despite Andy trying his hardest to convince him to let me come. 

"Goodbye Raven. I'll see you soon. I love you." He says, pulling me into one last hug goodbye.

"I love you too, Andy. Stay safe." I said back to him.

We let go of each other and he turned to got on the tour bus with the rest of his band. He turned and waved to me one last time before the door closed.

-------------Andy's POV-------------

Saying goodbye to Raven is the hardest thing for me to do. I know its only for 3 months, but it still feels like forever. We're both very attached to each other so being away for this long is extremely hard. Not to mention the fact that she's the only one who knows how to help me out of an anxiety attack. I always get them before shows and on my last tour, Raven was the only one who could help me. I also feel pretty lonely when I'm on the bus with the band. The rest of the band is always going out to bars and stuff, but I can't go to places like that because of my anxiety. And since there's 5 of us, I'm usually the one left out. Ashley has CC, and Jake has Jinxx. That leaves me with no one.

--fast forward to about 4 days into being on tour--

For whatever reason, my anxiety has been way worse than usual. The guys were all out partying, so I was alone on the bus. I've been calling Raven and talking to her every night before shows and before I go to sleep, but I still miss her a lot. I decided to call her and maybe talking to her for a while would make me feel better. I picked up my phone as I sat on my bed and called her. Of course I got her voicemail. dammit. I decided to leave a message so she could call me later.

"Hey Raves. It's me. I miss you. I'm sorta freaking out right now and I don't know why so please call me when you get this. I love you"

After I hung up, something must have snapped in me and I threw my phone across the bus. I laid down on my bed and pulled the covers over me completely so not even my face could be seen. I hugged my pillow as tight as I could and and cried into it. My heart was racing, I was shaking, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. dammit. A fucking panic attack. And of course I don't have Raven around to calm me down like she usually does.

I laid there for a while until I felt a pair of arms wrap around me while I continued to cry. I didn't try to move away from whoever was holding me since one- I really needed someone to be there with me and hold me, and two- this person was holding me so tight that I wouldn't be able to move even if I wanted to. I had no idea who was even there until I heard them speak softly to me.

"It's okay, I'm here now. Don't worry, you're okay"

I recognized the person's voice but I couldn't believe she was actually here. I came out from under the covers and turned so I was sitting at the edge of my bed facing her.  I didn't even bother to look at her. I just threw my arms around her and almost immediately calmed down. I was still crying, but my heart wasn't racing anymore, I could breathe better, and I wasn't shaking as much.  

-------------Raven's POV-------------

While I was watching TV, I heard my phone ring. I of course left my phone upstairs in the bedroom, so I ran up the stairs to see who called me. I looked at my phone and I had a missed call and voicemail from Andy. I listened to his voicemail and he sounded really panicky and kinda like he was crying, so I tried calling him back but he didn't answer. His band played a venue not to far from my apartment, so I decided to drive there to check on him. It was 11pm, so I knew the concert and meet and greets were over.