Andy Biersack imagines

10. Sadness

——Raven's POV——

Don't you hate it when the person you love the most is hurting and you can't do anything to take their pain away? It's the worst. My boyfriend Andy suffers from severe depression and anxiety. He always puts himself down and he doesn't see how much people love him. I know it hurts him, and it breaks my heart to see him in pain. It breaks my heart into a million pieces when he cries about how he isn't good enough or about how he doesn't feel wanted. All I wanna do is hold him in my arms as tight as I can so maybe the broken pieces of his heart will stick back together.

——

It was about 3:00am and I was laying on my couch watching Harry Potter. Yes I stayed up all night watching Harry Potter. They're just too damn good! I felt my phone vibrate and I saw I had a text from Andy.

(A/N: A=Andy; R=Raven)

A: RAVEN!!!! 911

Uh-oh. This can't be good. I hope he's okay.

R: What's wrong? Are you okay?

A: HELP ME!! I can't breath!! I think I'm having a heart attack and my chest hurts really bad and I CANT BREATHE!! I've also been crying hysterically all day which doesn't help. HELP ME!! I think I'm actually dying!!!

Aw man. Poor Andy. He's having a panic attack. I better get over to him and make sure he doesn't do anything he'll regret. I'd better try to get him to calm down before he totally loses it. I hate seeing him like this.

R: Okay. Listen to me love. You're okay. It's just a panic attack. You can breathe. It's just your brain telling you that you can't. Take a really deep breath, hold it for a few seconds and let it out counting backwards from 5 as slowly as you can and do this a few times. I'm calling an Uber right now and I'll be over there soon. You're gonna be fine. I'm right here. You'll get through this! I believe in you!

I hope that helps him at least a little bit. Him crying is probably the saddest thing I've ever seen.

A: Thanks Raves. Please hurry. I really need you

C: The Uber will be here in 3 minutes. Is there anything else you need before I come over?

A: No.... I just..... need you to come hold me. Sorry if that sounds weird. It's just really comforting being in the arms of someone I love when I feel like this

I'm his girlfriend. Does he really think it's weird for him to ask me to come hold him? He must really be having a bad day for him to think that. He's never said that before. I'd better get over there fast.

R: Alright. I'll be there soon. And no it's not weird at all. Sometimes all you need is a good, long hug

A: Thanks Raven and I'm sorry for always bugging you with my problems.

Oh no. Here we go with the apologizing. Yep. This is bad. All I want to do right now is hold him in my arms until he feels better. I don't care if it takes all night, all day, all week, I don't care. I'll stay with him until he's okay again. I love him so much and I wish he could see himself the way I see him.

R: Don't you dare start apologizing. You have nothing to apologize for. I told you, I'm always gonna be here for you. I don't care if: it's the middle of the night and you need me to come over, you scream and rant about everything that's going on, you're crying and want me to come hold you, you just want to sit in silence, or any other circumstance. I will ALWAYS be by your side, no matter what. I love you

A: Thanks Rave. That means the world to me. I love you too

By now, I was almost at his house since I had kept texting him from the car. I decided to let him know that I was down the block from him so I wouldn't startle him.

R: I'm down the street from you. I'll be there in like 30 seconds.

A: Okay. I'm by the door waiting for you

Aww he's waiting by the door. He must really be hurting a lot. Usually he just waits in his room but if he's waiting by the door, he must really need me.

—————

I got out of the car and before I could even walk up the stairs to his house, Andy came running out the door and into my arms. He was really upset. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were wet with tears, and he had black eyeliner mixed with tears running down his face.

He hid his face in my shoulder and cried. Strong, hard sobs shook his entire body and his tears were soaking my shirt (not that I gave a crap about my shirt. I just cared about Andy and getting him to calm down).

"Shh. It's okay. I'm here now. You're okay. I'm right here." I whispered while holding him close to me and softly running my hand up and down his back a few times.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled into my shoulder between sobs and hiccups.

"Andy you have nothing to apologize for. It's not your fault that you feel like this right now. You never have to apologize for how you feel. Especially not with me."

"I love you". He sounded a little calmer and wasn't sobbing as bad.

"I love you too. Come on, let's go inside." He nodded as we pulled out of the hug and started walking back into his house. I kept my arm around him tightly.

We walked into his house and sat down on the couch. He leaned against me and rested his head on my shoulder and I put my arm around him.

"Do you think you can tell me why you were crying?" I asked quietly while running my fingers through his hair.

"I just... my mind wouldn't shut up and it kept telling me that you don't love me and that you'll leave me and that no one will ever love a worthless piece of shit like me and it kept telling me to hurry up and kill myself and I almost did it. But I texted you before I did anything because I wanted to know if my mind was right about you not loving me. I know you love me and that's why I texted you." He said as his voice shook. I took his face in my hands and made him look me in the eyes.

"Andy, I love you more than anyone or anything on this planet. You mean the absolute world to me. Words cannot describe how much I love you. I love you more than I could ever scream. I'm so proud of you for texting me when you started having those thoughts. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. Hell, I'd be right behind you. I love you so so so so so much, Andy. Don't you dare forget that. Ever." I said.

He started to cry again, but not as bad this time. I wiped his tears with my thumbs and pulled him into another hug. He put his arms around my waist and hugged me tightly. I held him as close to me as possible and rubbed his back.

"I love you Raven. You saved my life." He whispered.

"I love you too, Andy. You saved my life too." I said as I kissed the top of his head.

After a few minutes, he calmed back down and we pulled away from each other. He yawned and leaned his head against my chest.

"Do you want to go to sleep?" He nodded and yawned again.

"Stay with me?" He asked while looking up at me with puppy eyes.

"Of course! Even if you didn't ask me, do you really think I'm gonna let you stay here alone after what just happened?" I said as I played with his hair.

"I guess not." He said as he leaned back against me.

"Come on, let's go to bed and get to sleep. You need it. You're exhausted. I can tell." I said as I rubbed his arm.

"Mkay." He whispered as he stood up. I got up with him and took his hand in mine as we walked to his bedroom. We both climbed into bed and he cuddled up to me instantly. I held him tightly and played with his hair until he fell asleep.

"Thanks Raven. For everything. I love you." He said sleepily.

"I love you too Ands. Get some sleep, my love." I said as I kissed his forehead.

He tightened his arms around me and I did the same. The two of us fell asleep peacefully in each other's embrace not even seconds later.