Andy Biersack imagines

44. Empty (Song Imagine)

A/N: This is based on the song "Empty" by PVRIS. It's also the song posted above. I'm trying something new by writing like this sometimes. Let me know what you think!! Also I apologize if this is really long. Also I might post 2 updates today

-𝕔𝕙𝕝𝕠𝕖 <{•.•}>
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Andy's POV:

~You see I want the world to believe
That there's a light inside of me
But it's time that I'll come clean
I'm not what I seem, no~

I'm not as fine as I seem. (PARDON!) I'm broken, damaged, depressed, I have anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, trust issues, and so much more shit. I'm so messed up.

Some days, I wake up and can't leave my bed. I end up shutting everyone out that tries to help me.

Other days I wake up and run to my girlfriend Chloe and cry in her arms for what feels like hours.

Sometimes my anxiety is so bad that if I'm more than a few feet away from Chloe or my band I'll have a panic attack.

Most nights I have a hard time falling asleep and Chloe will come lay with me until I fall asleep. And if I don't sleep, she'll stay up with me so I'm not alone.

Most of the time when I do sleep, I either wake up sobbing violently or having a panic attack because of the horrible nightmares I get. When this happens, either I'll run into Chloe's room and cry myself back to sleep in her arms, or she'll hear me crying and come in my room and hold me until I go back to sleep.

No one knows I go through any of this. Why? Because I hide this side of me. The only people who know this side of me are my band and Chloe.

~Some would say I'm possessed, yeah
But I'll confess, I've just been obsessed
With life and death and emptiness I guess
Can't you see all of the change in me?~

If I were to tell anyone else besides them, they'd think I'm crazy or that I'm possessed by something. But in a way I guess I am possessed. I'm possessed by the demons and monsters in my head. I'm constantly thinking about life and death; if its even worth living like this or if I should just end it all right now. Every day it gets harder to find a reason to stay.

~You took these starving limbs, try to see
Try to see what they could be
I thought I would be something
I thought you'd complete me
That you'd erase all the pain that I felt in my brain
If you fill my heart with love
Then you'd fill my voids above
And now you see I didn't change a thing~

I started Black Veil Brides because I wanted to help people. I wanted to become someone who people could relate to and find safety in. I thought that if I could help other people through their shit that it would help me get through my own, and it did for a while. But now it's like that spark is gone. It's like I'm farther down that I was before. And I don't know if I can get back up this time.

~What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?~

I don't know what anyone wants from me anymore. I'm trying so hard but it's never good enough. I keep doing everything wrong and I don't know how to handle it anymore.

~I'm empty, I'm empty
I'm empty, I'm empty~