Relentless

4

"I'm sorry you couldn't be here for the party, dad." I said as I FaceTimed my dad while I made the cake for Mia's birthday tomorrow.

"Me too, squirt. I hate that I couldn't get off work." He sighed as I bit my lip, fighting back tears. "Yeah..me too." I said with a shaky voice. "Hey, don't cry sweetheart.." he said quietly and brought my hand to my mouth as I started crying harder. "Squirt..I'm so sorry." He said as I swatted my hand in front of my face.

I knew I was overreacting because my hormones were all out of whack from the pregnancy, but I couldn't tell him that.

"No, it's fine.." I blubbered out and wiped my eyes with my shaky hands. "I just miss you, dad." I said with a small frown. "I miss you too, squirt. I win the worst grandpa of the year award and I'll admit it." He said with a sigh as I washed my hands again, "no, it's not your fault we live across the country." I said with a sigh and got back to baking.

"I'll make it up to you guys, I promise. How's everything going though? You doing okay?" He asked as I put the cake in the oven. I sighed, "I'm doing okay, I'm a little stressed out about tomorrow but everything will work out just fine." I said and bit my lip, trying to convince myself.

"Don't worry so much, squirt. You and Colby are great parents and Mia loves you so much that you could forget her birthday and she wouldn't care." He said with a laugh as my heart clenched at the idea. "I guess she still loved me when I had no idea who she was." I said and brushed my hand through my hair.

"Exactly. Plus she's not going to really remember this, so enjoy the party as if it's your own, you don't want the memory to be full of stress. Just have fun, Cor." He said causing me to nod, "you're right." I said with a sigh as I wiped the counter down.

"I love you." He said as I smiled, "love you too, dad." I said and smiled at the camera. "I better get going, Michelle and I have a date." He said causing a huge smile to bloom on my face. "Oooooo a daaaaate!" I teased as he blushed, "yeah, a daaaaate." He said with a laugh as I scrunched my nose at him, "when's the proposal?" I asked as he rolled his eyes, "not any time soon. She's dealing with...stuff..." he said as I nodded,

"and by stuff I assume you mean Stephanie." I said as he nodded, "yeah...she's not doing great with her mental treatments." He said as I nodded slowly, "sorry to hear that. I may hate her but I know how hard it can be." I said with a sigh and leaned against the counter, "just tell her to take it one step at a time." I said as my dad looked at me with astonishment, "what?" I asked and propped my elbow onto the counter so I could hold my head up.

"I'm just so proud of you, you have a heart of gold, Cor." He said as I shook my head, "no, I just know how it feels to unwravel. You have to have support, even if you don't deserve it." I said and shrugged. "Don't argue with me, squirt. You have the kindest heart. I seriously have to go now. Have fun tomorrow, I expect a phone call at some point so I can see the little one." He said as I nodded, "you got it. Love you, dad." I said with a smile. "Love you too, squirt." He said then hung up.

As soon as he hung up I started silently cleaning up the mess I just made. I let my mind drift off as I did so, which probably wasn't the best idea. I started thinking about how grown up Mia is and how she won't need me soon. I felt myself start to crack as I thought about it.

Shit. Postpartum.

I thought about everything that's wrong with me. I was going to fail Mia. I would never pack up and leave her but what if when she's old enough to know who I am she won't want me around. What if she leaves me, too?

She won't need me anymore.

I felt my heart ache so badly that I dropped the glass bowl I was holding, making glass shatter all around my feet. I started crying so badly that I collapsed to the floor, cutting my knees up.