Relentless

40

"You okay, Cor?" Colby asked as we laid in the bed. Colby was tracing something onto my hip with his finger as I stared off into space.

"Cor." He repeated as I clenched my jaw, "do you think it was a mistake?" I asked feeling my voice crack. "Oh baby.." Colby asked and tightened his arms around me. "I-it...i..." I said quietly as I sniffled.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to rush into that..I'm so sorry honey." He mumbled as I shook my head, then flipped over to face him.

"No. It was great..I just. I don't know." I said and brought my hand to his face, brushing his wet hair from his sticky forehead. "You feel like it was too soon...don't you?" Colby asked as I nodded slowly, before burying my face in his chest.

"It's okay, baby girl...it's alright. Take your time." He whispered and brushed my hair down. I cried for a few minutes, trying to release the weird feeling in my chest.

"God, I'm such a loser for crying after sex." I said with a watery laugh as I pulled away from his chest so I could wipe my face. "No, you're only a loser if you cry during it." Colby said with a laugh and brushed my hair from my face.

"I don't think it was a mistake, Cor. We can't live in fear because of what happened, and we did the best we could to prevent another pregnancy." He said quietly as he studied my face, "everything happens for a reason baby, if it's meant to happen, then it will." When he said those words a wave of relief filled my system.

"Thank you." I whispered and traced my fingers down his jawline as he smiled slightly, "you feel better?" He asked quietly as I nodded, "yeah. I'm sorry for being a drama queen." I said as he shook his head, "you're not a drama queen, Cor." He said with a laugh as we finally got out of bed.

"Maybe not, but I'm still a loser." I said with a giggle. "You're my loser then."  He said and tossed me one of his sweatshirts so I could put it on. "That's an honor." I said and pulled it on, shivering slightly.

"What would like to do today, love?" Colby asked as we got fully dressed. "Uhh....wanna paint?" I asked as he smirked, "I'd love to." He said as I squeeled happily and ran out of the room.

I heard him laugh as I skipped to the closet where we kept my painting stuff, as I reached up to grab the box I felt a stinging on my ass as Colby smacked it. "Stop!" I yelled with a laugh then crossed my arms in front of me.

"Now you have to pull them down." I said and pointed to the box of paints. "Worth it." He said with smirk as he reached up and grabbed the box, then carried it to the table. "Thank you," I said then started pulling out the canvases, brushes and paints.

Colby grabbed us some cups of water to wash our brushes with then sat at the table.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to paint." Colby said with a laugh as I started mixing some paints together. "Me either, you just let the creativity spill out of you. Just let the art do itself babe." I said got to work.

I completely zoned out as I let the paintbrush do the work for me. I was completely focused on the sunset like painting I was doing, when my thoughts took a dark turn.

I started thinking about what happened with Charlie and how he thought it was okay to treat me like how he treated me, I thought about the possibility of him actually following through and getting me pregnant and how much damage that would have done to me.

He had the chance to absolutely shatter me.

"Cor...woah, hey!" Colby said breaking my thoughts as I focused my eyes again. I gasped when I saw that I had taken black paint and smeared it all over the beautiful red and yellow blended painting I had perfected. I ruined my own painting.

I shakily dropped the brush and looked up at Colby who was watching me with concern, "you were thinking about it weren't you?" He asked as I nodded slowly.

He didn't say anything, and just pulled me in for a hug. "I'm okay...kinda pissed I ruined my painting." I said with a sigh as he rubbed my back slowly. "What are you talking about? I think it looks cool." Colby said and picked the canvas up.

"Oh shut up, it looks like Mia got into it." I said with a sigh as he shook his head, "hmmm well I know how to fix it then." He said and picked up a brush, then brought it to the canvas.

Instead of painting on it though he redirected his hand so he could put the paint on the tip of my nose. I gasped with wide eyes as he laughed, "oh you're done, Brock!" I yelled and picked up my brush smearing the paint onto his cheek as he nailed me in arm with the bright red paint. When I was distracted he took my paint brush out of my hand, leaving me with no defense.

"Noooo!" I squealed as I stood up to run away from him as he chased me. "Come on Cor, I just want a hug." He said as we ran around the kitchen island.

"Cole, stop!" I shrieked with a laugh as he caught up to me and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. He lifted me up in the air, causing me to have a fit of giggles. "Put me dowwnnnnn!" I whined as he spun me with a laugh.

"Okay." He said then put me on my feet so he could bring both of the paint filled brushes to my cheeks. I  shook my head with a laugh as he burst into laughter, "you still look cute." He said and kissed me as Mia started screaming.

"Oh good, how am I going to explain this to her." I said and gestured to the paint that was all over me. "She's a baby, Cor. You don't have to explain anything." He said with a grin and went into the nursery as I grabbed a paper towel so I could try to clean myself up a little bit.

When Colby brought Mia out she looked at me with a judgmental look on her face, "see! She's totally judging me." I said as he chuckled, "Mia don't judge mommy." Colby said and bounced her as she pointed to his cheek which had yellow paint all over it. "Yeah, mommy and daddy had a paint fight.....spoiler alert daddy won." He said and winked at me as Mia giggled, "dada!!" She said and hit his chest with her hand, "right. Well, I'm going to go shower." I said with a sigh and started walking to the bedroom.

"Want me to join?" Colby asked lowly as he set Mia on the ground by her toys. "ReLAX, Brock." I said with a chuckle and went to take a shower.

I seriously loved how Colby could pull me out of a dark place in such a short amount of time. He was the perfect blend of sweet, patient, and goofy. I was seriously so lucky to have him.

When I got out of the shower I felt cleaner, but I could still feel a little anxiety bubbled up in my chest.

When I went out to the living room, Colby was cleaning up the paint stuff as Mia watched a movie on the couch. She wasn't really watching it though, instead she was swinging around her favorite toy.

"How was your shower?" Colby asked as I sat down next to Mia. "It was fine, I feel cleaner that's for sure." I said and took the toy from Mia so I could play with her.

"Well that's good, did you want anything to eat?" He asked and wiped the table down, "hmmm...can we order pizza?" I asked as he chuckled, "yeah, that sounds really good." He said then came over to us as Mia crawled into my lap.

"Hey sweet girl. I love that you're so happy all the time." I said and bounced her on my legs, "mama." She said and turned her head to look at me, "yes, sweetie?" I asked as she blew me a kiss. "I love you." I said then kissed her cheek.

"Maybe we can invite everyone over, I miss the girls." I said with a sigh, "I'll ask them before I order the pizza." Colby said then started typing on his phone.

I took this moment in to really evaluate my life. I had a beautiful baby girl who was a literal angel, I had this gorgeous house with my sweet husband. I had so many amazing wonderful friends that lived down the street. I had so many great things and I was so beyond grateful but it made me wonder.

Why couldn't I just be happy?