Relentless

92

We spent the rest of the night hanging out by the fire. I tried to focus on the conversations everyone was having but I couldn't. All I could do was focus on Mia's breathing.

I was still so worried she would stop breathing at any moment as she peacefully slept in my arms.

After a while I looked up at Colby and bit my lip, "can we go home?" I whispered as he leaned over and kissed my head, "of course..hey guys I think we are going to head out." He said to group as we stood up.

"Goodnight guys! Colby I'll text you tomorrow about the meeting we have." Sam said as Colby shook his head, "my phone is broken." He said as Sam nodded, "Cora, I'll text you tomorrow about the meeting Colby and I have." He said as I laughed, "sounds good, Sammy. Goodnight everyone." I said and rocked Mia gently.

Everyone yelled their goodbyes as we went to the car. I held Mia tightly to my chest, refusing to put her in the car seat. "Cor, she's okay." Colby reminded as I bit my lip and looked forwards. "Right now she is..but who knows what's going to happen in five minutes." I whispered and kissed her head.

He sighed as he pulled into the driveway, "I'm going to pull her crib into our room." Colby said as we got out of the car, "okay." I whispered as Mia fussed in my arms a little bit. "It's okay sweetheart." I mumbled and rocked her a little more as she tightened her grip of the stuffed animal she was holding.

When we went into the bedroom I immediately climbed into bed, still holding Mia to my chest.

Colby pushed the crib into the bedroom then looked at me, "you're not going to let her go, are you?" He asked as I shook my head.

"No." I whispered and closed my eyes against the tears that were forming. "Come here." He whispered and got in the bed, pulling me into him. "I almost killed her." I whispered as he kissed my head.

"Cora, stop. I'm not telling you again." He said quietly as I started to cry again, "I can't help it Colby...I feel so guilty." I whispered and rubbed Mia's back gently as she slept in between us.

"I know honey, I know you do, but it's not going to take away what happened. You can't dwell on this baby girl, you know it's not good for you." He said and kissed my head.

"I know..I know. I just can't shake the feeling in my chest....it's the same feeling I got when we lost the baby." I whispered as he sucked in a breath. "Oh, Cor..." he breathed out as I sniffled and burried my face into his chest, searching for comfort.

"I can't even imagine how it feels but I'm right here with you. You're not alone in this." He said and kissed my head, "thank you." I whispered and sat up.

Mia lazily opened her eyes and looked up at me as she put her hand on my cheek, "hi sweetheart." I whispered and brushed her curls from her eyes. "Food." She mumbled as I laughed, "you're such a hungry girl, come on we can get a midnight snack." I said and looked at Colby as he smiled softly at us.

"You coming?" I asked and stood up with a very sleepy Mia in my arms. "Of course." He said quietly and got out of bed.

When we got to the kitchen Colby turned on some music as I found a snack for Mia, "what are we thinking?" I asked and bounced Mia on my hip as she leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Tweat." She mumbled as I laughed, "oooohhh you want a treat like mommy had the other day?" I asked and kissed her head, "ya." She said as Colby smiled, "well then I guess we have to go on a little adventure then." He said and turned off the music.

"Yum." She said as Colby grabbed his keys, "come on, then." He said as we went out to the car. "She's going to be asleep by the time we even get the milkshake." I said with a laugh as I strapped her into her car seat.