Relentless

95

The next few weeks went by slowly.

But they were painful.

My birthday was less than a month away at this point so I have been working my ass off in the studio trying to get everything done.

I would spent at least 12 hours each day there, which left me almost no time for Colby and Mia. I couldn't help it. I was repeating history.

Colby and I were currently in the middle of an argument because he thought I was working myself too hard again.

A couple days after Mia's near death experience he caught me working late into the night, and got really upset. It's been just a little rocky ever since then.

"Damn it, Cora! Are you even listening to me?" Colby asked as I sat on the floor at the studio, with the phone to my ear. "I'm listening." I said with a sigh, "you're overworking yourself again. You spend more time there than here!" He yelled into the phone which broke my heart.

"I'm sorry! I'm just trying to get this album done! You were the one that wanted to me to do this, why are you so mad?!" I yelled in frustration. I was sick of getting mixed signals from him about this.

"Because I fucking care about you, Cor! I miss you, Mia misses you! Can't you just understand that?!" He yelled as a tear slid down my cheek,

"I understand it but what do you want from me Cole? Do you want me to chase my dreams or do you want me to be a submissive little house wife because I can't do both!" I yelled as I angrily wiped the tears away.

"Oh fuck off, Cora. I never expected you to be a submissive little house wife. I want you to chase your dreams. Of course I do, but why do you have to push yourself so far?! You're going to break at some point." He said as I huffed out a breath.

"I have a deadline Colby. I have to meet it or...or.." I said trying to think of what would actually happen, "or what?!" Colby yelled, causing me to flinch, "I don't know!! Just please stop yelling at me!" I screamed finally feeling my heart crack in two.

I had been trying so hard to keep it together, but he was right.

I was going to break.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered as I sobbed into the phone, feeling guilty again. He was right. I had been spending too much time on my work again, falling right back into the bad habits that had caused so many panic attacks. I was deteriorating again.

"Please don't cry, Cor...I'm sorry..I'm just frustrated. I didn't mean to hurt you." He said softly as I heard the anger leave his tone fully,

"please stop yelling at me..." I repeated in a whisper as I wiped my cheek "I'm coming to get you, I'm sorry for yelling, Cor, we just need to talk things out I think." He said as I sniffled and nodded, "yeah," I agreed as I looked around the empty song writing room.

I spent so much time here alone that I almost forgot what it felt like to be around people. I really was out of control, but releasing my first album on my birthday meant so much to me, I just wanted to finish it so I could enjoy my 23rd birthday.

I just wanted to finish it.

"I'm on my way, just stay there and wait for me, okay? We can get your car in the morning." He said as I sniffled, "okay." I whispered then hung up so I could clean up my stuff and head outside.

By the time I was done, Colby was outside, waiting for me. I took a deep breath and silently got into the passengers side, then looked down at my hands uncomfortably, "I'm sorry." Colby eventually breathed out as I nodded, "I am too." I whispered as he held his hand out cautiously.