Relentless

44

Mia slept in Colby's arms the entire flight which I was grateful for. He held my hand in his lap as he slowly massaged it with his thumb. "Do you think this is it?" I asked quietly as he leaned over and kissed my head, "no. This isn't it." He said with so much confidence I almost believed him.

The closer we got to landing the sicker I felt. I geniuenly couldn't do this. This was my breaking point.

After everything I have been through, I couldn't handle one more thing. I was never going to bounce back from this one. I couldn't.

"Tell me what you're thinking." Colby said quietly as I clenched my jaw. "I'm officially broken. This was the last straw." I whispered as he squeezed my hand, "I know honey, I see it in your eyes." He said and raised my hand to his lips as I stared forwards. Colby and Mia were genuinely the only reason I was able to function right now.

When we landed I didn't stand up to exit the plane. I didn't move at all. I didn't want to know what I was about to face. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry until I withered away to nothing. It was all too much.

Colby was so patient. He didn't push me or tell me to feel a certain way right now, he was just there for me. I felt bad because he was trying to hard to keep the pieces together, but they were far too shattered to be picked up right now.

Almost everyone was off the plane by the time I finally got up. I felt so numb as I pulled our stuff down from the overhead bin and made my way off the plane.

I knew I had to call Michelle to get an update but I couldn't do it. I couldn't know the update.

I pulled my phone out once we got into the main part of the airport and just stared at it, not being able to push the buttons I needed to.

After a few seconds I looked up at Colby and shook my head, "I can't." I whispered as he smiled sympathetically at me, "I'll do it, do you want to hold Mia?" He asked quietly as he looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms, "yeah." I whispered and reached for her.

"Mama." She mumbled as the tears started, "hi sweet girl." I whispered and pressed my lips to her head as Colby put the phone up to his ear.

"Hey Michelle, yeah....we just landed.....oh.....okay yeah we are on the way...okay...thank you bye." He sighed and hung up the phone, "ready, Cor?" He asked as I shook my head, "I-is he dead?" I asked so quietly I barely even heard myself, "no honey, he's still alive, come on." He said then picked up our bags,

He put his hand on the small of my back as we walked so he could rub his thumb along it soothingly. As we walked, the feeling of me being sick grew. I needed to throw up.

I ran to the nearest trash can and emptied the contents of my stomach as Mia started to squirm in my arms. "I'm sorry.." I whispered and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

Mia settled back into my arms as Colby reached into his pocket and handed me a mint, "thank you." I whispered and popped it into my mouth.

Neither of us spoke as we made our way through the airport and outside. Colby called an Uber so we could get to the hospital.

It felt like there were a million bricks piled on my chest. I really couldn't breathe even if I wanted to.

I didn't want to.

Colby held my hand in his as Mia snuggled into my neck. "Cor?" Colby asked as I turned my head, "I'm so proud of you, please know that...I'm so damn proud of you and so is your dad. He's gonna wake up from this and be cracking jokes like he normally does. He's gonna hold Mia and laugh with us. He's gonna be okay." He said as my face scrunched with pain, "y-you don't know that." I whispered as he brought my shaking hand to his lips.