Relentless

51

Huge trigger warning this chapter guys I'm sorry I love you.

"Are you sure you're okay going alone?" Colby asked me as I grabbed the keys to my dad's car, "yes Colby, I think I can handle going to see my dad in the hospital by myself." I said with a giggle and grabbed my bag, "but Stephanie.." he said as I shook my head, "fuck Stephanie. I'm only going for a minute just to check to make sure he's okay, she probably won't be there anyways." I said then kissed him quick.

"I'll meet you guys at the park." I said then opened the front door, "okay, call when you're on your way." He said and smiled at me, "I will. Love you." I said and waved, "love you too." He said as I got in the car.

It felt good to be driving through my hometown again. It brought me back to when I lived here, those might not have been my best days but I had some good memories with my dad.

"Where are we going daddy?" I asked as my dad drove down the road. I'm taking you fishing squirt. You've never been and it's a Williams tradition." He said with a big nod, "Will mom be mad? Does she know?" I asked timidly, "no squirt, she doesn't know but it will be our little secret okay?" He asked and held his pinky out to me. "Okay." I said and hooked mine through his.

I smiled at the memory as I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. When I got out I walked right to the gift shop and got him a little box of chocolates, then went up to his room.

"Hey dad!" I said when I walked in. He and Michelle were talking quietly before they turned to look at me, "oh......hey squirt." He said awkwardly as I stopped in the doorway, "sorry..did I interrupt somethong?" I asked and bit my lip, "no, no we just..we have to talk to you." He said as I scrunched my brow, "it's nothing bad is it?" I asked as my heart rate picked up.

"Um...we were talking and we think..it would be best if you didn't come here anymore.." he said which caused my heart to shatter, "w-what?" I asked as my hands shook, "it's just..you're kind of a trigger for Stephanie and we don't want to cause any more trouble with that situation.." Michelle said as I looked at my dad with so much pain in my chest.

"Oh." I whispered then took a deep breath, trying to hold myself together. "It's just not a good idea squirt." Dad said as I bit my lip, feeling the whole world caving in on me.

"Okay." I whispered then dropped the box of chocolates on the ground before turning away to leave. As soon as the door closed I started to cry.

He was really replacing me.

When I got to the parking lot I felt my legs getting weak as the sobs wrecked through me. I was shaking so badly that I dropped the keys on the pavement as I tried to find the right one to unlock the car.

Why would he brush me off like that? It was so unlike him. They had a point that I was apparently a trigger to Stephanie but...I needed my dad.

I needed him more than she did.

I finally was able to get in the car before I completely broke down, my body shaking so badly I was afraid I was having another seizure. I started the car anyways and started driving, having to wipe my eyes every few seconds so I could see. I had to get where I was going.

I needed to be alone.

When I got to McMillan I didn't hesitate to get out of the car as I loudly sobbed. I couldn't comprehend how he could choose someone who literally tried to kill him last night over me, his daughter. His best friend.

Maybe I really was disposable.

I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket as I hiked along the trail to get to the top. I didn't bother seeing who it was, it didn't matter right now. I needed to focus.

When I got to the top I collapsed onto the dirt, holding myself tightly as I thought about the last time I came up here before I moved to LA.

I was feeling hopeless and I came up here, contemplating if I wanted to move or if I just wanted to jump. I remember looking over the cliffs edge and thinking how easy it would be to just take a step. How easy it would be to do that and be done with all of the pain I was feeling in that moment.

I didn't do it though, I turned around and walked down the mountain.

Looking back, I'm grateful for that because I met Colby and all of my best friends. I got to have Mia and meet her, I got to experience so many things but none of it seemed to matter because I ended up right where I started.

On the edge of this cliff, contemplating how easy it would be to just take a step.

I thought my dad cared about me. I thought he would always be by my side, but today just proved that if I was gone he would be okay.

He had a new family.

Colby would be okay too, he had everyone else. He had Mia.

Mia wouldn't remember me, I would just be a fond memory she would be told about in stories. She would be okay.

I looked down and took a deep breath, feeling myself inch my foot forwards but stopped when I heard hikers passing by, I couldn't scar them like that.

As soon as they passed I took another shaky breath, but was interrupted by my phone buzzing. Something told me to answer it.

"Hello?" I whispered feeling the pain in my chest deepen. "Baby girl where are you? Your dad called me and told me he was worried about you..he said you left over an hour ago." He said as I heaved in a silent breath. "I love you." I whispered causing him to pause for a second, "I love you too, what's going on? Are you crying? Are you okay?" He asked as I looked down, "I'll be fine soon." I said quietly as I wiped my face.

"You're scaring me Cor, where are you?" He asked frantically "it doesn't matter. Just don't forget that I love you." I said and sniffled, "Cora whatever you're thinking, stop, I'm coming to you. I know where you are. I'm coming. Just take a deep breath." He said with fear laced in his voice.

I took a step back from the cliff side, feeling guilty all of the sudden. "I...I can't do it Colby...he chose her..he replaced me." I whispered and took a step forwards again. "Cora, please god don't do this...DRIVE FASTER!" He barked at whoever was driving him, "whatever you're thinking it's not real sweetheart, it's not real, just stay on the phone with me. Keep talking to me." He begged as I shook my head.

"I can't." I whispered as I slipped as little bit, almost falling off the edge by catching myself as a scream left my lips, "CORA." Colby cried out, "I'm okay I just fell." I said and sniffled. "Cora please baby,..please just listen to me, I'm almost there, just wait for me to come. I'm almost there." He said as I stood up and backed away from the cliffside.

The pain in his voice had me second guessing everything again. I had to stop talking to him so I could focus. "I'm sorry," I whispered then hung up.

I tossed my phone to the side and grabbed my head as I cried. There were so many things going on in my head I felt like I needed to be sedated.

I needed help.

"You'd be better off dead. That way everyone in your life would be free from your bullshit."

Jump. Just do it already.

I couldn't.

I laid in the fetal position for a while until I mustered up the strength to get up. It would just take one step. One step and the pain in my chest would go away.

I walked to the edge of the cliff and held my foot over it, ready to take the step.

Just then something slammed into me, pushing me away from the cliffs edge and to safety.