To Love A Sociopath

balloons

She couldn't speak, the silence stuck in her throat, in her mind. A deadly echo drowned the blackness of her head, overriding all of her senses. She was frozen in that spot and in time.

The was a faint beep, the call ending and Bonnie lowered the phone. She couldn't even feel the tears rolling down her face as she watched them duck into a building.

Bonnie blinked and even more tears cascaded down her cheeks. She bit her lips hard to keep the whimpers of pain from her lips, eyes lowering to the floor. She felt pathetic. How did she let this happen? How was Kai so needy that he had to look elsewhere? Bonnie believed that it was her fault, that her old habits were returning with a kick of their own. She should have known that his love language was communication and affection, all of what he lacked as a child. She should have known better, should have fought for them the same way she did for Hayley.

She promised him that she would try and here they were. Sneaking off with girls in the middle of the night, lying. The pop in her heart felt like a big balloon, growing with the love he blew into it. So much love, so much air until the balloon popped. Exploded, shattered. Every cell in her body wanted to release, to reciprocate the feeling in her chest and lay waste to everything around her. Bonnie felt the thrumming of her heritage magic, pulsating at her fingers, preparing to unleash and demolish. There was only one name that it chanted, one answer to dissolve all the pain. But she silenced them, storing them deep down. She had to direct the emotion for something far great, something good.

Bonnie pushed the scream that threatened to escape from her lungs and took a deep breath. She wiped her tears, ignoring all the people who were giving her the eye and walked back to the compound. Without looking back.

*

Bonnie returned to the compound, right into Klaus's revelation about how he spoke to the vampires and werewolves. Against Bonnie's wishes, he took Hayley with him and her presence was enough to sway them. Bonnie was too preoccupied in her mind to react. She didn't even hear when the official meeting would be set.

And then he walked in the shadows of the gates with his usual casual demeanor. Bonnie was still attracted to it, his face, his eyes. Her shattered heart still reached for his and knew that it meant she was still in love with him. That the love between them was so true that it didn't break when he broke it.

At this point, the others had disappeared to their duties, leaving Bonnie and Kai alone in the compound courtyard. Her arms were crossed and deep down, she was trying to compose herself.

You see, after Klaus declared that he wanted a spell to keep outsiders out, it was the first thing she did when she returned. The spell occupied her mind for a short period but she enjoyed the look on his face when Kai bounced back from the invisible barrier.

She uncrossed her arms and slowly walked towards the gates, her combat boots echoing at her footsteps.

"BonBon," he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I think you made a little mistake. But it's alright. Fix it and you can tell me all about how Klaus can't take care of a child. In all honesty, are we shocked? Dude had a rough upbringing. But then again, so did I. Wait, you don't think I won't be able to raise a child, right? Because I can. I would teach him the basics, murder people who bully him, threaten teachers who gave him bad marks and proceed to kill them too. I might help him with the burying though, that type of weight is a bit much on a little one. But he'll grow strong with both our genes, I know that for sure. Unless you're not ready for a child. Which is totally fine, I wouldn't want to pressure you or anything. It's not like I stay up in the middle of the night thinking about what we would name the kid if it was a girl or boy or if it would be homeschooled or if it would like sandwiches without the crust because that would be patheti--"

Bonnie only blinked when she said plainly, "It's over. There is no mistake in the spell. You aren't welcome here anymore because your ties to me are now severed."

His face flickered with confusion. "What? You're kidding, right? You're a little pissed that I went out without letting you know? Fine, I won't do it next time."

"No, Kai," Bonnie said through her clenched teeth. "I am pissed that you've started to lie to me."

"Lie to you—"

"Don't even try to act like you don't know. It doesn't matter, I don't want to see you anymore." It hurt, the feeling of the statement stumbling from her lips. It stung too but Bonnie knew it was for the best.

"Let's talk about this, I still have no clue about what I did. How did I lie to you?" He said, having the audacity to genially look confused.

Manipulator, liar, troublemaker, it was what he was known for. The great Kai Parker. Bonnie scoffed, shaking her head. She realized that silent tears were sliding down her face as she said, "There's nothing you can do to change my mind."

Kai's mouth twitched, the only signal of anger. He slammed his arm through the barrier, taking it down with one swing and Bonnie flinched with shock and fear at the same time. She didn't know that Kai wasn't cheating on her, but learning the Initial Conjuration. The type of magic that made it possible to break through her spell.

Kai walked through the gates, reaching for her. "Tell me what I did to hurt you, I hate seeing you crying." Bonnie stumbled back, eyes wide as she registered that he walked through the barrier spell like it was nothing. Kai took the fear in her eyes and muttered, "Come on, BonBon, you know I would never touch you like that."

"You know what?" She heard herself say with deadliness. "I forgot to mention that I hurt you in the same way. While you were away, I was with someone." Lie.

Kai froze, eyebrows knitted in confusion. "What? Why the hell would you do that?"

Bonnie swallowed deeply, drinking all of the emotion on his face. She couldn't tell if it was hurting him the same way she felt, Kai was good at hiding his feelings. She sniffled and averted her eyes as she lied again, "His name was Oliver. I met him in the park when I said I needed fresh air. We kissed but it didn't last long because Caroline showed up and—"

"Oliver," Kai repeated under his breath like it was the only word he caught from her. His eyes were a deadly stare and the wind chilled around them.

Bonnie crossed her arms again, trying to hug the warmth back to her body. She then had the urge to pull him in to steal that warmth but retrained. "Just go, Kai—"

He lashed out, hands gripping her forearm with force. "What ever you think I did, you have no idea—" Bonnie groaned as she felt his hand pull at the magic within her, his siphoning abilities surfacing. Bonnie gasped, recoiling when she felt that thrum of power under her skin getting sucked away like a vacuum.

Bonnie pushed him back before he could take every last drop. The look of surprise on his face was enough to assume that he wasn't aware of what he had just done. "Leave," Bonnie bellowed, the ground shaking at her outburst.

Kai knew better than to stay and argue some more, not when he had a name. Not when he seemed to have hurt her mentally and physically. Kai straightened and walked out the compound, slamming the gate behind him.

Bonnie felt the air return to her lungs, her knees sinking into the ground. She held a hand to her aching chest, her eyes tearing up. In less than minutes, she was full-on bawling her eyes, her cries filling up the empty space around her. 

~

"You can always fight dirty. Like that time you and Bonnie played monopoly and you stole from the bank. Not cool."

*do you guys think i should end this book soon? or should i push it to 100+ chapters? i have a LONG checklist about what will happen next but i can cut it short. let me know if you have a specific chapter limit you would like on the book because i sort of feel like i'm just stretching it too far and that you're getting bored. love you guys and i enjoy the comments, don't be shy to leave them :)*

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