To Love A Sociopath

heat

warning: suicide/self-harm, torture. 

Bonnie watched him leave the room like it was nothing, the toaster sunk in the sea of bubbles. 

When she turned, she jolted back when a fully grown Kai stood there, anger mirroring his mini-self. "Get out!" She was brought back to the bar with a gasp, stumbling back. Kai jumped in the chair, growling.

She remembered how Mary Louise told her about how the chains also softened mental walls. "No. You don't just get to tap out whenever you want," Bonnie snarled, approaching him with determination. 

Kai danced in his chains, trying to get away. "Bonnie," he warned but that didn't stop her from placing her fingers at the sides of his head, diving deep again.

*

She was now in a dim-lit room thanks to the flickering lightbulb above and a cage in the center. There was a large metal door, bolts framing it. Bonnie turned to the cage, Kai, who seemed to be 12, sitting alone. He was scratching the bottom of his cage, bobbing to a tune in his head. She neared the enforced bars, bending down to see what he was doing.

Her stomach churned when she realized he was using his nails to carve a tic-tac-toe game. His nails were chipped and bloody and the game was carved all over the floor. He seemed to be playing the game by himself. 

The door swung open and the way Child Kai jumped back with utter shock told her that it had been a while since he had a visitor.

"Put the gloves on and get up," a buff man ordered. He had a clipboard, wearing cargo pants and a tightly fitted shirt. Child Kai did so and the man approached, unlocking the cage. Child Kai limped out, nearly falling to the floor. The man pushed him harshly. "Get moving."

His face did not show any signs of emotion as he crossed the door. Moments after, the cage room was faded into another better-lit room with a chair. Bonnie watched as a woman strapped him to the chair with wires, the buff man lingering behind her. The woman then retreated back, sitting in front of a table. She proceeded to click a button and Child Kai jolted, wincing a bit. 

"Turn it up a notch," the buff man ordered and the woman obliged. 

Child Kai grunted, hands tightening into fists as his head strained. The man told her to raise the voltage even more. "This is the furthest he's gotten. It'll be dangerous if we go past his limit--"

"Our job is to get rid of whatever corrupt demon is inside him, Alice. He killed his mother, for godsakes, turn up the heat," the man growled.

"There was no proof that he actually did it, his father only suspected--" Alice was cut off by the sharp clap across her cheek. She fell out of her chair with a gasp, cheek blood red. The man reached across the board, turning the dial to the maximum. And according to Alice, Child Kai's limit was not even past halfway.

His screams were loud, painful, shattering as his body twitched feverishly. He began to rock on the chair frantically, his pain reflecting on his voice. It came to a point where Child Kai was so unaware of his emotion, the chair started to tint red under his hands. The buff man narrowed his eyes. "He's siphoning...how is that possible?"

The woman on the floor, hand to cheek, swallowed. "The chair. The whole thing is an instrument of magic, remember? Dr. Holman studies dark objects," Alice realized.

Eventually, his screams halted, the board switching off. Child Kai panted, opening his eyes. Both adults were too shocked to move as he ripped the bonds away from him. His wrists and legs were now bruised with rings of blistering purple thanks to the tightness of the restraints. 

The woman trembled as he rose, Child Kai's eyes trained on the buff man. He rose his hand and the man started to cough, face contorting to a mask of pain. He fell to the floor, holding his stomach as he started to cough blood. Bonnie's hand flew to her mouth when he started to cough louder and...an organ fell out his lips. It didn't take long for him to cease his writhing and Child Kai turned to the woman.

"You were nice," he said. "But you still touched the button." With that, he flicked his hand, snapping her head. 

The memory ended and Bonnie was surprised this time to see Kai in the dark with her. He grabbed her arm, eyes pleading. "Please stop."

Bonnie knew he wasn't ashamed of the terrible things he had done. Knowing Kai, he would have put it up on a trophy case but...he didn't want her to see, feel, understand the trauma and abuse he went through. She knew it was wrong to keep going but...

She pushed back, diving into the next one.

*

This one was different from the previous ones. Kai, a couple of years younger than he was now, sitting in a chair of a home that was unfamiliar to Bonnie. He was sitting at a table, playing another game on his own. She took a step closer, reading the board. Pills. Gun. Knife. Jump off Cliff. Poison. Drowning. There was even more.

Each was numbered off and Kai was shaking a dice, preparing to throw it. Bonnie realized that this was when he was in the prison world. He dropped the 6 sided die, reading the number. 3. Knife. 

Kai chuckled, taking a sip of a cocktail. He then rose, heading towards the kitchen. On the counter was a selection of things, a bottle of pills, a gun, a vial and many more. He picked up the knife, examining it before angling it at his chest. There was obviously a mental block because his hands trembled and his mouth was shaking. "Come on, Kai. Do it," he urged but the knife didn't move. He gave up, throwing the knife across the room.

Out of rage, he picked up the gun, weighing it in his hand. "6 chambers, 3 loaded, 3 empty. 50 percent chance. Happy Birthday to myself," he mused to himself, raising the tip of the gun to his head. His hand started to tremble again, breathing shortening as his hand hovered over the trigger. 

There was no warning when he pulled it but nothing came out. His chest puffed heavily as he reached to pull it again. The echo of the shot bounced around in Bonnie's head and she felt her heart and body shatter at once when he fell to the floor. The vulnerability was enough for Kai to reach in and throw her out of his mind.

Bonnie fell back, trying to recover from the violent scene. She raised her head to look at Kai who was laughing. "Did you really think I hadn't tried to kill myself before? Because I had-- lots of times, lots of ways. Kind of crazy how I'm still here. But it was part of my punishment when they put me in the prison world, no exit whatsoever. Yay for me."

~

"If I'm going down, I'm going out with a bang."

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