To Love A Sociopath

forgive

"Oh my god," Caroline's heart released its tight hold in her chest as Sybil fell to the floor, dead. "Bonnie." Caroline flitted to her, engulfing her in a warm hug. Matt followed, the embrace becoming awkward when Jeremy and Ric joined. "Jesus, Stefan and Damon, come in. Even you Valerie."

They all enveloped Bonnie and she felt like a marshmallow, her mind-melting like chocolate. The hold the siren had on her mind was refreshing and free and she felt herself cry in her friend's arms. This, she thought, is what I fight for every day. They finally pulled back, Jeremy grabbing Katherine and tossing her over his shoulder. "I'm going to put her in the cellar for when she wakes up."

"I need to remove the lockdown on the town," Matt said, already jogging away.

Ric smiled at Bonnie. "Jo needs me back home, the twins want a bedtime story."

Bonnie laughed and shooed him away. "Get to your kids, Ric."

"I'm sure you guys want alone time," Valerie said, taking the path that led back to the Salvatore estate. "I need to do some research."

"God, I was so worried," Caroline said.

Bonnie smiled to herself. "I know you were."

"Where's Kai?" Damon cut in, the mood suddenly turning cold. The witch wasn't near them anymore, gone in the wind.

"He's run off again. Regardless, we need to take care of this." Stefan pointed to the dead decaying body of Sybil. "I'll bring her up to Valerie, a lot of things need to be explained."

"We need to have a girl's night," Caroline stated, jumping with joy. "I feel like we haven't had those in forever!"

"Sure, Caroline," Bonnie answered, the smile that went onto her face somehow felt fake. Everything in her body felt...empty all of sudden. Regardless, she let Caroline pull her away, Damon watching them go. Bonnie turned back to him, mouthing the words of reassurance she was sure he was waiting for. I'm okay.

She wondered why it sounded like a lie.

*

"Why the hell would she go in the darkroom?" Caroline screamed at the television, the deep horror music making the room feel small. Bonnie remembered how Elena would get scared and close her eyes and ears to avoid the creepy parts. Bonnie fished in the popcorn bowl, the taste almost stale. 

Caroline didn't even scream at the jumpscare, she rolled her eyes, switching the TV off. "That was dumb. Let's make cookies, peanut butter ginger spice, your favourite--"

"Caroline, what happened with Sybil wasn't your fault. You don't need to make up for anything." Bonnie turned to her, placing her hands on Caroline.

"It was. If I hadn't left completely, if I had stuck around, I could have done--"

"There was nothing you could have done. One vampire is not enough to overthrow a hungry siren. It doesn't matter anymore, okay?" Bonnie shook Caroline's shoulders to be more persistent. She finally nodded and Bonnie smiled, "But I still want peanut butter ginger spice cookies."

Caroline giggled and jumped off the couch, making her way to the kitchen. "Great, I'll get the things ready."

"I need to quickly use the washroom," Bonnie declared before going into the hallway. She reached the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Bonnie switched the light on, ready to use the toilet when the figure standing there nearly gave her a heart attack. "Kai," she rasped.

"Hey, BonBon," his voice was almost a whisper and he didn't aim to close the distance between them. Kai leaned against the wall, legs crossed. "How have you been?"

"You mean after you released Sybil, nearly got Damon killed and rose Katherine?" Bonnie shrugged, taking a step in. "I suppose I can thank you for saving Sybil from my head in the long run."

"I understand that you're pissed after all I've done..." Kai started, pushing himself off the wall. "But you have to understand that it was all for you, BonBon."

Bonnie laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. "The funny thing is, you didn't. You did it for Kai Parker. With all the rummaging Sybil did in my head, I realized that the only reason why you "care" for me is because when you killed Luke in the merge, and a part of his soul is guilt-tripping you for all you've done to me. That is why you're here, begging for my forgiveness once again."

Kai sighed, running a hand through his head. "I understand that I will always be the one to make your heart hurt at the end of the day but mine does too. For completely different reasons compared to yours and I guess I just assumed that after what happened at the club--"

Bonnie took a deep breath, reaching for the tap. "I forgive you, Kai." She rinsed her hands, applying soap. She didn't even know why she was doing it, she hadn't even used the washroom. It must have been the feeling to wash off all the things she had done during her dark periods. Kai appeared behind her, reflecting into the mirror. Bonnie glanced at his surprised face.

"Wait, what?"

"Isn't that what you wanted to hear?" Bonnie flicked the excess water off, turning to Kai. She planted her hands on the sink and cocked her head. "That's what will make you go away, right? I forgive you for what you made me do to Jo's twins. I forgive you for letting me ruin Damon's and Stefan's life by bringing Katherine back." Bonnie took a step closer to him, placing a hand on his chest. "I forgive you for releasing Sybil."

"What about Enzo?" Kai's voice was shaky, his body registering that this was the closest Bonnie had been to him willingly. 

"What about Enzo?" Bonnie questioned.

Kai's eyes widened, staring deep into hers to anticipate if she was playing with him. But Bonnie genuinely looked confused and curious. Kai decided to pry further. "Remember what happened between you two?"

"I remember that he and Damon used to be friends. I remember that he was supposed to burn in that room when Damon betrayed him. I also remember that he was on Lily's side when the Heretics ruled over Mystic Falls and then Rebekah Mikaelson killed him." But that wasn't what happened though. Bonnie slowly retracted her hand away from him.

Kai grabbed it, pushing her against the wall and pinned that hand above her head. "So you remember nothing else?"

"Am I supposed to?" Bonnie said, her lips centimetres away from his and she remained unfazed.

"No, Bonbon. Not at all." Kai grinned, biting his lip.

The door to their left began to bang, Caroline asking on the other side. "Bonnie? Are you in there?"

"Yes, I'll be out in a sec." Kai pushed off, a smile lingering on his lips. Bonnie straightened.

"Actually, Stefan can't find the tuning fork and Valerie just found out that it has other perks. I know I'm a bad person and I shouldn't be leaving you alone--" 

"It's fine, Caroline. It's been a while since I've slept in my own house," Bonnie said back.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow? Let me know if you need anything!"

"Sure thing."

~

"Why can't I kill her?"

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