Find Something to Live For (Tommy angst)

1.5K 60 11
                                    

Please be aware that this oneshot contains a suicide attempt. 

PLEASE DON'T READ IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU!

Tommy POV

"How have you been feeling lately Tommy?"

What a simple question, yet I couldn't come up with an answer. I felt nothing. I didn't even feel sad anymore. With everyone leaving it was hard to feel anything. All those promises to stay in contact had fallen short. I shouldn't be surprised, no one wanted to have me around anyway. Why would they want to stay in touch?

"I'm fine." I replied shortly, my eyes glued to the floor. I didn't want to see her sympathetic look.

Puffy sighed, scribbling something down on her clipboard. "It's okay not to be fine Tommy. Whatever your feeling, you know I won't judge you."

I shrugged, not really wanting to say anything. She must have picked up on that, because she forced the conversation forward.

"How are things with Tubbo? I'm assuming you still keep in contact even after he moved?"

"He's too busy with Ranboo." I mumbled, still not looking at her. "He never has time for me anymore."

"I'm sorry Tommy." she spoke gently. "I'm sure he'll come around."

"He probably just got sick of how annoying I am." 

"Well what about Wilbur? You must still be close to him?" she continued, the worry only growing in her eyes.

I shook my head, hating the words as they came out of my mouth. "He doesn't answer my texts or calls. I've given up leaving voicemails... it's probably just annoying for him to have to delete all the time."

Puffy again wrote down notes before looking back at me. Thankfully she didn't ask anything about my other friends. She would have gotten pretty much the same answer for all of them. "Have you picked up anymore hobbies with your free time?"

"No." I didn't want more hobbies. I just wanted my friends back. Not that that would ever happen.

Checking her watch, Puffy sighed again. "Tommy I want you to write in that journal everyday alright? I want you to list all the good things about each day alongside the bad. I'll see you at your next appointment." 

I stood up, nodding. It was always some stupid assignment. One that I never did. Grabbing my coat, I opened the door. I was about to head out when I stopped at the sound of her voice.

"Tommy I know it's hard. And I can't pretend to know everything you going through..." she began. "Just... just find something to live for, alright? You are loved so much, more than you can ever know."

I stared at my shoes, not wanting to give any response. If I was loved then why did I feel like this? If I was loved then why did everyone leave me? Regardless of the thoughts, I kept my mouth shut and nodded. 

Then I left, with no intention of ever seeing another day.

--------------

Hope you liked it!

This was a request, there will be another part

Thank you for 323K!! :)

Please don't read this stuff if your triggered! 

Hope you have a wonderful day!

-Snowy

Tommyinnit Oneshots (With SBI)Where stories live. Discover now