Megatron's twin

157: When Your Future Sparkmate is Cray-Cray

Optimus was fine. He was fine. Everything was fine- best day of his life! Totally! He can understand chickens now too. That's awesome!

He wasn't even crying! It was just some dust that got into his optics. Just dust! Big bits of dust! Dust so big he was shitting tears.

It had nothing to do with Quilly's hurtful comments (Or that his room was so small). He wasn't miserable! Just a little dust. And allergies! Totally allergies!

Then a knock came from the door- he wished he could hide under the berth, but alas, he was too big. He was chunky! That's why Quilly didn't like him- no! He did like him! Just not now-

The door opened, Alpha Trion looked inside.

"Just a little dust." Optimus choked out.

"M'kay." He mumbled and left.

Optimus was left dumbfounded before some more dust catapulted into his optics and he started a fresh round of tears.

Five minutes later and there was still dust in his optics- and a Chicken sitting at his peds. He paused his involuntary hiccups to look at her.

"Brk? What's wrong?" Egg asked. "Alpha Trion sent me." She added.

Optimus blinked, "Dust-"

"Ah ha, you know Quilly's funky in the helm now-"

"Yes."

"So he's confused-"

"Yes."

"One of the last things he remembers is the passing of Paradox-"

"Who?" Optimus asked, the name sounded familiar.

"The other guy he was courting- long ago." Egg explained, "He was drunk once and went on a rant." She added.

"Hmpf." Optimus huffed.

"Just wait out his stupidity and he'll come running to you and apologizing profusely." Egg added.

"Ok." Optimus muttered, there was a little less dust now.

"Oh and the, 'I'm not attracted to your frame type' is total BS-"

"Mmm hmm." Optimus muttered, now slightly uncomfortable.

"Half the chicks goodnight stories consist of him rambling on about your frame-"

That wasn't something Optimus wasn't prepared to hear.

"'Oh his luxurious curves' and 'his buttered aft-'" Egg started quoting as Optimus slid his faceplate up to hide his blush.

"'Slippery glossa-'" Egg added.

"Please stop." Optimus muttered.

"Really? You didn't mind me singing about your aft-"

"I couldn't understand what you were saying-"

"No, well now that you can-" Egg inhaled but Optimus quickly pinched her beak together.

"Mmf!" She complained.

"No." Optimus warned and let go once he though Egg wouldn't-

"Oh his thighs, such a prize-" Optimus pinched Egg's beak together again and she gave a muffled laugh.

"Ngh ah eter moooo oww?" She tried and Optimus released her once more, "In a better mood now?" She asked.

"Maybe." Optimus muttered and sat down on his berth.

"Now why is your room so small?" She asked.

"It was the only available one-"

Egg snorted, "Pack your stuff, we're moving." Optimus picked up his belongings, a datapad and the Star Saber- "Wow, Quilly wasn't lying when he said you're broke." She muttered and waddled out the door.

Optimus followed and eventually they were next door to Quilly's Berthroom.

"Now, all you have to do, is make sure Meg doesn't know you moved." Egg started and opened the door, it was a big empty Berthroom.

Makes sense, Megatron wouldn't want him to have a roomly room right next to Quilly's room.

"Now." Egg started, "As for payment methods-"

Optimus blinked, "Payment methods?"

"What? You thought I was offering free therapy out of the goodness of my spark?"

"Yes-"

"No!" Egg squawked, "Now, give me the orb-"

"I don't have it. I gave it to Alpha Trion." Optimus started, this chicken was a little scary.

She let out some frustrated gurgles, "I'll ask him for it later, he asked me to comfort you anyway. I did him a favour." She added as Optimus sat down on the berth and shoved the Star Saber under it. "Well, I suppose a cuddle's good enough." Egg muttered and flapped onto Optimus' frame.

"Er?"

"I'm gonna recharge and you're going to stay put." Egg demanded. "I stopped your weeping after all-"

"I wasn't weep-"

"Would have been a blow to your ego if Soundwave or Laserbeak caught that on camera." She added. "Might even make the Dumb and Dumber, The Prime- Ugly crying."

"'Dumb and Dumber'?" Optimus asked.

"The Decepticon news, or tele?" Egg suggested. "It's to raise troop moral. Anyone can post stuff on it, videos, photos, jokes- anything that's positive." Egg explained, "I'm surprised Quilly hasn't heard of it." Egg added.

"Could I-" Optimus started.

"Is your datapad linked with the Nemesis?" She asked and waddled up to the datapad.

"Yes-" Optimus started but she was already typing.

"Ohhhhh, juicy!" She said as a video was pulled up. "Someone's taking a risk." She added.

"Hm?" Optimus asked and looked down. It was a repeating video of Megatron tripping on nothing. And yes, there were a lot of veiws.

"There was one of Meg, where he sneezed- it was taken down and the vehicon who posted it was killed. But Laserbeak made a copy-"

"A vehicon was killed?" Optimus asked.

"He titled it 'cute'." Egg said, "Hold up, I'm gonna get mine, Soundwave got me one." And she was gone, through a vent, must be faster. She came back dragging a datapad behind her. Optimus looked at her in question. "I have a account okay." She muttered and got to typing. "There."

"Hm?" Optimus asked and looked down at his datapad. 'Egg-straterrestrial.' just posted something.

"I had to cut out a bunch of stuff." Egg muttered.

Optimus played the video-

Megatron was on the floor in Quilly's berthroom, "Drinks on the houusssssee!" He yelped and passed out.

Then Optimus read the caption- "That egg-ceded my egg-pectation." Optimus had to cringe.

"Good, that's the reaction I was egg-pecting." Egg grinned.

"If he killed the vehicon-"

Egg snorted, "Yea right, you got any vids on that datapad?" Egg asked.

Optimus looked down at it, only just realizing how old the datapad was. He's had it for most of the war but he also downloaded the contents for his last datapad onto it. "Ahhhh" Optimus started. "Old, I haven't looked at it's video and image storage for a while.

"I've already made you an account." Egg added. Optimus found that she indeed did, he frowned at the name, 'Mr Optimistic'. Optimus cringed, that was too obvious, he had to change it.