Ellie Dixon

Why Aren't The Walkers Walking

It was the day of the masquerade ball. We had to be there at ten pm. It was eight in the morning so we had plenty of time. We were all at the school trying to fix up the two busses. "Apparently there's a fuel warehouse a couple blocks down from here." Sophia said.

"Alright, take the RV and Carl. Chances are the compound raided it, but you can try." Mum instructed.

Sophia nodded. "Come on, cowboy." She flicked his hat slightly as they started walking back to the RV.

"Ellie says I'm a pirate, you saw I'm a cowboy. I can't win." Carl sighed as Sophia laughed at him. A couple seconds later I watched as they drove down the road. 

Rosita and dad were working on one bus, me and mum were working on the other. She was currently standing on a couple boxes, looking into the engine of the bus and doing things to fix it up. No matter how much I helped out in my neighbourhood before the fall, I never worked with engines. So, I wasn't much help. However, I handed her the correct tools when she asked for them. "So, how'd you know about this stuff?" I asked her, hanging her the right sized screw driver.

"Daryl taught me." She answered. "During that first winter, that is."

I hummed. "We were all learning during that winter."

Mum nodded, smiling. "Remind me of what you learnt. It's too quiet."

"Mostly shooting. Now, I never miss." I grinned. "Dad also taught me and Soph how to hunt. To a degree. She picked it up better than me. I'd scare the damn things off, and never quite mastered the knots for the traps."

"I remember the first deer you ever killed." Mum smiled.

I scoffed. "Moments before I lost it to a couple walkers I didn't see."

"You put them down real quick." She pointed out.

"Not quick enough." I sighed. "Mother Goose said it was okay, that it was an accomplishment anyways. But, then nobody apart from Lori and mini Shane ate for the next four days."

Mum glanced at me. "You still feel guilty?"

She was very good at picking up on tone. I laughed a little. "Yea, I guess."

"You don't let things go do you." Mum said, handing me back the screw driver.

"Nope. Which is exactly why I found those cans of food so we ate well for the first time in a while. Didn't make up for the four days of starvation though." I shrugged, handing her the hammer.

Mum nodded. "I remember how proud of you we all were."

I smiled softly. "I appreciate you saying that... You know, I wish I met you earlier. Sophia and Jacob were lucky to have a mum like you when they were growing up."

Mum pursed her lips together and shook her head. "No, they weren't. I couldn't protect them. Not from Ed. I couldn't even protect Sophia from Jacob. I couldn't protect Jacob from learning Ed's ways... Then, I couldn't protect him from those walkers."

"You did your best. Jacob knew that. Sophia knows that." I reminded her.

"You don't wish you knew me sooner, Ellie, because if you did? You wouldn't be able to look at me the same. I was a coward living in the shadow of a monster." Mum told me.

"You weren't a coward. You did everything you could to protect them from him, and you did. I saw you pick them both up that night the walkers attacked the camp in Atlanta. You did not look strong enough to carry both twelve year olds, but you managed it. Because you were protecting your children. No coward would do that. Ed was the coward. You were a hero." I insisted.