Ellie Dixon

What Was Before

Me and Sophia were sitting on the porch steps of the house, waiting for when Rick, Hershel and Glenn would come back. "I miss it." Sophia said suddenly.

"Breakfast? I don't. Those eggs were not cooked right, let me tell you." I replied.

"No, not the eggs. I mean before." Sophia corrected.

"Before breakfast? I mean I was having this really great dream about Chris Evans to be fair." I nodded.

"I mean before the walkers. Before the dead started raising. Before we got lost in the woods. Before the CDC. Before the first camp in Atlanta." Sophia corrected.

"Oh." I realised. "Why though? I mean... What was before? For us, I mean." 

"Jacob was alive." Sophia replied.

"But so was your dad." I pointed out. "So was the watching your mother in constant fear of a man she loved. Watching your brother slowly turn into your father. That wasn't a life."

"But watching my mother cry over her son is?... Seeing Jacob come out of the barn like that-" Sophia cut herself off and shook her head, looking down as she tried to hide the fact that she was fighting off tears.

"I didn't mean anything by it. What happened to Jacob... That wasn't right. Without your dad, I'm sure he would've grown up to be a good man. His time was cut too short and that isn't right." I responded.

"What was it like for you? Before, I mean. Did you have any other family?" Sophia questioned, changing the subject as she looked to me.

"Merle was the only person on my dad's side I ever met. Then he died... On my mum's side, it's a different story though. Her dad left when she was young, she hasn't heard from him since she was ten. Her mum, my abuela, died when I was six. She lived in the neighbourhood... But she acted a lot like my mum in all the worst ways, so I wasn't that broken up about it. My mum had a sister, Maria... But she died about a year before I was born so I never met her. She has a daughter though. Her name's Rosita. She's my cousin." I explained.

"What's Rosita like?" Sophia pushed.

I laughed. "She awesome. She's twenty-six, I think. She has a super busy life and lived all over America. Every summer, around my birthday she'd come visit for two weeks... There was this rich neighbourhood a few blocks away and they had a massive park. Every summer they'd throw this huge fair, rides, games, ya know? She'd always take me, and we'd do whatever I wanted. For two weeks, she'd hang out with me every single day and we'd always do something different. My mum loved Rosita, said that she's perfect so of course my mum acted like an angel in front of her. Rosita never suspected what my mum was doing, what she's really like. She met my dad a couple times, but her leaving and my dad arriving never really crossed paths."

"I wish I could've met her." Sophia said.

I looked down. "She's still out there. I know she is. I don't think anything could ever beat Rosita, she's too much of a badass." I responded causing Sophia to smile softly down at me. "So, what's your family like?"

"My mum's an only child. Her parents died when she was little, so she ended up in foster care. My dad had two parents and a brother. His parents cut contact with him and us when they realised he was hurting my mum, me and my brother. My dad's brother would come over every Christmas and birthdays. Him and my dad weren't very close, he knew what my dad was like. He even watched dad hit me once... But he didn't do anything. He just sort of rolled his eyes and looked away." Sophia told me while fiddling with the top of her cast.

"I'm sorry. None of you deserved to go through what Ed put you through." I said softly.

"You don't deserve what your mum still puts you through." Sophia looked to me. "Your face is still bruised and scarred, I bet your stomach is too."