Den of Monsters

Y2 Vol8: The End of a War

(Ayanokoji Kiyotaka's POV)

I am...so incredibly tired.

For the first time in my life i feel so mentally drained and about as much physically but it's over now.

Now all i am terribly frustrated about is the look on both Hina and Ayano's faces.

Much like Horikita...the two of them are completely broken by Ryuuji's demise but unlike me and Yuuichi...they could've never imagined him to die so quickly and in such a gruesome manner.

I always had a feeling the day would come that he would die but i never knew how or when...i just knew it will happen, Ryuuji was once again another straw that Johan pulled to frustrate me and...

I believe it may be working...he took away someone that was not only important to those dear to me but also...important to my normal side in life.

Now all my life will simply be...gloomy and dark but...i want to try...i want to try to live a bright life even without Ryuuji's disconnected existence, i have to do that. Otherwise...i can never truly release myself from the hellish self that was in the whiteroom...

"Niisan...i'd like to ask you something"

I turned my head to the right a few degrees towards Hina who was carrying Kano on her back and Hikigaya in her arms.

"What is it?" i responded to which she looked down at the ground in anger.

"Why did you let him go?...that guy who killed Ryuuji-senpai, how could you let him live?"

"I don't know really...i just did, he's someone that i've yet to understand fully" i said to which Hina bit her lip in frustration as she turned to me.

"But he killed him...he killed Ryuuji-senpai...he killed him Niisan" Hina said with teary eyes as she looked down at the ground.

I sighed to myself slightly as i looked up to the sky.

"An eye for an eye and the whole world will go blind...when i told you to not hesitate i meant one thing and one thing only Hina; Let go of your naivety. I may have found allies i can trust and a new place to call home but...i expect death, sadness and all kinds of bitter things in my life, that is the way that i've been taught but i was also taught to achieve absolute victory...which is why i let him go...for a decisive victory" i said to which she stayed silent before she turned her head to me coldly.

"Then does victory matter more than your friends?" she asked to which i stayed silent before nodding.

"It does..."

Hina grit her teeth as she stopped and faced me.

"Does it matter more to you than me?!!"

I shook my head as i noticed the others eye us in curiousity.

"It never did when it came to you and...her, this victory i work so hard for is not entirely mine...i want nothing more than for you to be happy. I am sorry if i seem cold but...i truly cannot feel any visible frustration, just a simple bitter taste of defeat at the hands of that monster..."

Hina's eyes didn't avert from mine before she turned to face the direction we were walking towards as she spoke on last thing to me.

"You're so cruel...so cruel to yourself"

My eyes widened in surprise at her words as i noticed something push my shoulder slightly.

I glanced a look back to find Sumeragi standing behind me while the others passed me by.

"Do you think i said something wrong?..." i asked her to which she shook her head.

"No...you simply said that which was logical and honest but...such answers may not always make people happy Ayanokoji-kun. In any case...she's your sister, she will find it in her to get over this incident soon as you all should because prolonged weakness will do more harm than good"