Who Cares

147

Chapter 147 Perseverance
Emperor Sheng Yuan was stunned for a while before he asked in a trembling voice, “Madam, what did you just say? Can you say it again?” Something he yearn for in the dream finally happened in reality, but he couldn’t believe it.

“I said I want to marry you.” Guan Suyi leaned against the carriage wall, laughing at herself, “You ask me if I have a heart, I always thought that my former self was too considerate so I ended up being bullied, banished, and killed. However, now, after going through several twists and turns, and almost get myself and Mu Mu killed, I suddenly realized that my former self was not considerate at all, she was just too stupid that make people unbearable to look.”

She turned her head to look at him, her eyes flashing with a strange light, “Now all the noble girls in Wei Kingdom are keeping their eyes on the empress seat, I thought that if I stayed far away, I would not be implicated, and could even watch people trying to outwit each other, fighting openly and secretly, and take pleasure in it. This is exactly where I don’t have the perseverance. I think I am too aloof and proud, not affected by secular world, as if I am more indifferent than others. However in the eyes of Han noble women, I am unchaste and unclean, and do not deserve to be the empress; in the eyes of Jiuli noble women, I am too weak and deceitful, pretentious and hypocritical. They slander me, defame me, and even damage my reputation, but that was nothing, there is a saying ‘The clean will be clean, the dirty will be dirty’ so I can only sit up straight. But they even want to take my life and Mu Mu’s life. If I and Mu Mu have an accident, how heartbroken my family will be? Grandfather is old and frail, he cannot stand the stimulation, perhaps he will become seriously ill; Father and mother will be mentally and physically exhausted, completely disheartened, and this family will be destroyed in an instant.”

Her indifferent tone finally carried bitter hatred, “Even though I was already involved in the whirlpool, I was willing to quit for the sake of that aloofness, it’s really stupid! As the saying goes cleverness may overreach itself* I almost harm myself, harm Mu Mu and harm my family. If I have promised you long ago, no matter what kind rumors and gossip going around, justifiably I am now the most honorable woman in Wei Kingdom. So what if other people family’s status is higher or if their bloodline more noble? Still dare to confront me? But I refused and backed away, so one by one they came to step on me, one by one they came to hurt me, and I became a piece of fish on the chopping board, just waiting to be slaughtered.”

She looked into Hunnar’s eyes and said bluntly, “You are right, in this world, there is no problem that power can’t solve. I need power to protect myself and my family, so I want to be the empress. I didn’t have the perseverance before, now I finally understand.”

Emperor Sheng Yuan couldn’t describe his current mood. After the ecstasy, the only thing left was heartache and guilt. What a kind of aloof person Madam was, but now she had to succumb to the imperial power, and it was not because other people force her, but from heart-wrenching comprehension. He could imagine how her internal organs were tormented by anger and resentment as she lay in a dark coffin waiting to die.

She had escaped from death, but her soul was still trapped in that cramped and hopeless place, which was why she had such a strong thirst for power. Whatever she wanted, he was willing to give it with both hands, only wishing for her happiness and smooth life.

But he was a little unwilling in his heart, and he smiled bitterly, “Madam is willing to marry, Zhen is naturally happy. But Zhen also want to ask, could it be Madam doesn’t have a little bit of love for Zhen? Is marrying Zhen purely to protect yourself and your family?”

Guan Suyi’s cold face slowly melted, then she said cautiously, “My heart and liking for you is exactly the premise of my promise to marry you. Why do you look down on yourself so much? You are handsome, tall, strong, capable of both literature and martial arts, with power to overflow the sky. If I don’t like you, who can I like? Looking all over Wei Kingdom, who will be better than you?”