Divine Resurgence | Lucifer x Reader

14

One night turns to more easily, and you feel as though there's been a shift in your relationship to Lucifer. As if some invisible barrier that he'd held between you both has been smashed, because if you'd thought you'd be lying in bed with Lucifer's sleeping face nuzzled against your collar bone a couple of days ago, you would have combusted in a fire of embarrassment.

But Lucifer has been an attentive rock, right here at the end of a long day with Vox and ready to help you try to forget it. He doesn't know what's going on, he doesn't need to know that Vox is on you as if he's the hawk, because you know if he knew he would likely try to murder him.

And even if Vox has become insufferable, you can't stoop so low as to let someone be killed over you. You're not Vox, you're not the Vees. You're stronger, but you're not weak as the other sinners who are willing to kill someone who's already died once.

Lucifer sighs against your skin, sends wonderful ripples across your skin from the warmth, so you reach a gentle hand up and stroke softly through the short hairs at the base of his skull. And your heart is humming too early in the morning when he hums softly and nuzzles in closer, practically gluing himself to you.

Lucifer is the most touch-starved man you think you've ever met, and you pity him for knowing he's suffered it alone for years. You can't help but wonder why Lilith would leave him, with how gentle and sweet he's been with you these last few days. But of course, you'll never ask why she left, because you do still see the fractures she left in the fallen angel in her wake.

"Lil..."

Your humming heart feels as if it's been punched again. This has been the last two mornings, Lucifer calling to his ex-wife in his sleep. It hurts, each time. Because you know he's dreaming of her, he has to be dreaming of her if he's calling out to her in his sleep like this. But there's that question at the back of your mind. The one you keep trying to ignore when he crawls into your bed at night.

Is he doing this because he wants to comfort you or is he doing this because he wants to feel like his ex-wife is still here with him in the morning. If only for that brief time between closing his eyes with you in his arms to waking up in the morning. And you're afraid of the answer that you could get to that question if you didn't willingly ignore it.

Your heart is soft for him. Your heart is soft for this hurting king laying on you with his face nuzzled against you like the touch-starved man he is. Your heart shouldn't feel this way, you shouldn't feel this way. He's a divorced struggling man who just wants to not feel the pain he's been feeling anymore. And you're trying your best to help him with that, even if it feels like a punch in the heart every time he says Lilith's name in his sleep.

You scratch a gentle path down from Lucifer's hair to his back, gently rubbing at the space between his shoulder blades as he's done for you the past two days. As if he somehow knows in his sleep, you watch as his brilliant crimson and ivory wings suddenly spring from his back in the dim morning light. Almost asking for you to rub them as he's done for you.

You haven't touched his wings since that night in his bedroom, when he was sobbing on the floor for his lost marriage. You don't want to touch them, because you don't want to bring him back to that moment of pain.

But the moment you lift your hand back to knead at his scalp, his upper pair of wings shift and press against your wrist as if inviting you to touch. You know he's not awake, this can't count as consent to touch if it's his body moving on its own. Because he probably thinks you're Lilith rubbing his back...

Your hand stills, and you close your eyes in hopes of drifting back to sleep for just a little longer. Back to sleep where you can pretend you aren't developing these feelings for your friend that you shouldn't be feeling.