secret family // baylor (completed)

happily ever after?

"And here's your room!"

I said with a smile as I walked around Kinsley's room with her in my arms. It's so weird to think that she's actually here in my arms. She's actually here in the room that we've been busy planning for months. It's so surreal. And I know I've been saying that a lot recently but it really is. She's the only thing keeping me going these last few months. I had to be strong and plan a stable life for her. And no matter what you think, I think I've done a damn good job at doing that.

"I can't wait to see you grow and play and run around this room as the years go on. Your Daddy and I will always be here for you. I promise."

I said as I kissed Kinsley's forehead and sat down on the rocking chair in the corner of the room. I know I said I would tell Kinsley about Fergal, and I will, but until then, there's nothing wrong with her calling Link "daddy". What's it going to hurt? She'll know the difference when she's old enough to understand and until then, she still has a positive male figure in her life. That's all I can really ask for from Link.

"Hey, all the clothes are put away."

Link said as he stood in the doorway. I smiled as I looked up from Kinsley and just looked at Link. This man...gosh he's perfect. I could give him all the love and yet it still doesn't compare to the love I feel for him.

"What?"

Link laughed.

"I just love you so much."

I said as tears filled my eyes. Link smiled as he walked over to me and wiped the few stray tears away from my face. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes my mind drifts off to what this moment would be like with Fergal. Would it still be filled with the same amount of love? Would I still be filled with the same amount of love for him that I am for Link? I can't answer those questions. I don't know if I'll ever be able to answer those questions.

And I'm not trying to be vindictive to Fergal. I'm really not. I loved that man at one time. A piece of me still loves him. But that chapter in my life has sadly ended. And I've moved on and so has he. I just want a peaceful life with my daughter and my soon-to-be husband. But honestly, I don't think I'll ever get that. Not in this lifetime at least.

If it didn't mean risking him knowing about Kinsley, I would still be friends with Fergal. I miss him in my life. I miss being friends with him and goofing off and just messing around. I miss the old times of just being us. But I'll never get that again Because then he'll find out about Kinsley and he'll be pissed and it'll cause so many issues.

Everyone probably thinks I'm selfish from keeping Kinsley from Fergal but I'm just trying to protect her. Because he would take me to court and he would try and take her from me. And if he wins, then my daughter loses the only parents she's ever known. Fergal would just want to rip her away from me. And I can't let that happen. So yeah, I'd rather my daughter not meet her real father until she's older if it means not ripping her away from everything she knows or confusing her.