secret family // baylor (completed)

paradise state of mind

I stepped out onto the balcony of the resort as I took in my views around me. I could never imagine a beautiful honeymoon like this when I was a child. Now I'm here, worry free, with the man of my dreams.

"It's beautiful but not as beautiful as you."

Link said as he come up from behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I love you."

I said as I turned my neck to kiss him. I'm happy. I'm finally happy. I'm happy to just be here with my husband. The only thing that could make this better would be if Kinsley was here. But hopefully she's having a good time with her grandparents and her father isn't stirring up too much trouble back home.

"Why don't we go get our swimsuits on and head down to the ocean."

Link said.

"Sounds amazing."

I said as I got out of his grip and headed towards our room. I pulled out a yellow and black checkered bikini out of my suitcase and quickly changed into it. Before walking out of the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. I feel like I've really grown this last year. I've come into my shell and learned to love myself. I'm not some naive, young girl who goes along with what everyone wants anymore. I'm a strong minded, independent, confident woman who can make up her own damn mind and survive on her own if she needs to. 

"You ready?"

I heard Link call as he knocked on the bathroom door. I opened the door and smiled as Link looked at me in astonishment.

"Maybe we don't need to go to the beach and we can just stay right here."

Link said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck.

"There will be plenty of time for that later. Right now, I just wanna head down to the beach and get my tan on."

I said with a laugh. Link pouted as I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed our beach towels. For the rest of the day, we spent all of our time splashing around in the ocean and getting sand in places that sand should never  be. We ended up back in the hotel room around dinnertime and by the time we both showered everything off of us, it was too late to even go out to dinner.

"I'll order some pizza."

Link said as he grabbed one of those complimentary menus that hotels set on your bedside table. 

"I'm going to call my Mom and check on Kinsley."

I said as I walked into the living room area of the hotel room. I dialed my Mom's number as I sat down on the really comfortable couch.

"Hey sweetie."

My Mom said as she answered.

"Hey Mom. How's Kinsley?"

I asked.

"She's good. She's taking her bottle right now then I'm going to put her down for bed."

"That's good. Has her father been there to see her?"

"Yeah. He came and took her to the park. I still don't know why he would take a 5 month old to the park but I think they had fun. He also dropped something off here for you."

"What is it?"

"Let me open it and I'll tell you."

She said as I sighed. God only knows what Fergal has dropped off for me. Do I even wanna know?

"Oh Pam..."

"What is it?"

I asked with concern in my voice.

"Custody papers. He wants full custody."

My Mom said as tears filled in my eyes. I knew it. He just wants Kinsley for himself. He can't handle Link being around her. No one was trying to replace him as her father. Hell, I let him see her while I was in another country. I put that much trust into him. He's never stayed the night with her, of course I wasn't going to let him fucking take her for two weeks overnight. But now he's ruined all of that. All because he couldn't see her for one day? Because I was busy and didn't have time to make arrangements to meet him and his house or a public location? I was trying to fix this. I told him that we would figure this out when I came back. But it's never fucking good enough for that man.

"I gotta go Mom."

I said as I hung up the phone and started pacing around the room.

"Good news, pizza will be here in 30 minutes."

Link said as he walked into the room, not noticing me mid panic attack.

"Hey, what happened?"

Link asked as he put his phone down and wrapped me into a hug.

"He's trying to rip her away from me!"

I sobbed into his shoulder.

"Shhh, calm down and tell me what happened."

"Fergal send me custody papers. He's taking me to court for full custody of Kinsley. He doesn't want me to see her at all."

"That son of a bitch! I'm going to kill him the next time I see him. You gave him so many fucking chances to see his kid and yet he is still ungrateful."

Link said as I wiped my tears.

"I can't lose her. I try so hard to be a good mom and do what's right but maybe he is right. Maybe  I'm a terrible mom who doesn't deserve her child."

"That will never be true. If he can't see how good of a mom you are and how hard you fight for Kinsley, then he needs to open his eyes. Now, let's not let him effect us. We're suppose to be happy and we don't need to think about him or this custody case for the next two weeks. Okay?"

"Okay."

I said as I put a fake smile on my face for Link. I can't let Link down and act like I'm sad during this honeymoon but this is going to be eating away at me. Yet another huge moment for me that Fergal ruined for me. But it's fine. I'll fight for my daughter. Fergal asked for this. He wanted to take me to court and that's what I have to keep in the back of my mind. I always gave him opportunities to see Kinsley. I tried to settle this. But now I don't think there's ever going back to how things were.