secret family // baylor (completed)

locked

I rolled over in bed as I heard my phone ring for what felt like the thousandth time. I've been ignoring the girls. I changed the locks on my doors. I locked my bedroom door. I just wanna be alone. I love them but I really can't handle someone being here, trying to make me feel better about both of my daughter's being torn away from me.

I tried for days to get ahold of Fergal. I got the police involved. No one can find him. He has Kinsley God knows where and I just want to see her again. She's mine too. But Fergal never sees it that way.

I picked up my phone and saw Becky's name on it. I hit the "Decline" button before putting my phone back down. A few seconds later, Ashley called me. I just turned my phone off and put it in my bedside drawer.

There's really no point in talking. I know they just want to help me and be here for me, but I can't do it right now. I can't be strong right now. I just need to sulk for a bit. I just want to lay in bed and fucking cry. Why is that so hard for everyone to understand?

I miss my family. I miss feeling loved again. I miss having someone here to hold me when I cried. Not the girls, but like My Mom. Or Alex. Or someone that wouldn't try and force me out of bed. I just want someone to hold me.

I just wish my parents were here. My Mom would know exactly what to say to me. She would know that I couldn't just get out of bed and act like everything is alright in my life. She would just hold me and let me sob. That's all I need. But everyone has been torn away from me. One by one.

And she's not here anymore. So I have to hold myself and just sob. I don't know where I go from here. I can try and appeal for Adalyn but that could take months. Kinsley...she's practically missing at this point. The twins? They don't deserve a Mom like this. They deserve their Dad. He was strong and brave and would give the best advice right about now.  He was my Prince Charming. But he was taken from me too. So what's the point anymore?