secret family // baylor (completed)

spirits

"So the four horsewomen are officially retired?"

I asked as I looked at Mercades, Ashley, and Rebecca before taking a bite of my ice cream. The girls have been staying with me at the house for the last week and sleeping with me in my room. I'm really grateful for having my friends back with me. I don't know what I would do without them. Rebecca and Ashley told me that they both have decided to retire from the ring to focus on their own families. It's kinda shocking that this is the end of the four horsewomen era. Who would've thought we wouldn't have all gone out together?

"Hey, let's not count me out for anything."

Mercades said as we laughed.

"I don't think you would ever leave Eli for weeks on end."

Rebecca said.

"You're right."

Mercades said as she shrugged and took a bite of her ice cream. It's really great to have them just around and us all hanging out like old times. It takes my mind off of things for a while at least. And then someone says something and it just feels like I come unglued. 

"I miss wrestling a lot. It kept me sane."

I sighed as I shoveled more ice cream into my mouth.

"You can always go back, mama bear."

Ashley said.

"With twins by myself? No thank you."

I said as I looked down. That's when tears started to fall down my face. See? Unglued.

"Oh Pam. It'll be okay. We're going to be here for you and the twins."

Ashley said as she placed her hand on my arm.

"I don't know how I'm going to be able to take care of all four kids by myself. I'm going to be a horrible Mom to my kids."

"No you aren't. You are an amazing Mom. And you will always be an amazing Mom. I promise."

Rebecca said.

"I just wish Alex was here. I miss him so much. I just want him to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. I just wish he would've known about the twins."

I sniffled.

"He knows. I promise. And I promise he is looking down on you smiling. He loves you and the twins."

Ashley said as I wiped my tears away.

"Have you heard from Alex's family?"

Mercy asked.

"No. I didn't even know them until they called me about the will. They don't know I'm pregnant either."

"Do you think they'll want to be in the twins' lives?"

"I don't know. If they don't, then my kids won't have any grandparents. It's so sad. I wish they had a chance to meet my Mom and Dad."

I sighed.

"I'm sure they'll be looking down at you guys."

"Yeah."

I sighed. It hurts to know that none of the most important people in my life will never get to meet my babies. I don't know how I'm even going to look at the twins without thinking of Alex. But I guess it's just apart of the healing process. And I'm kinda hoping Alex's family doesn't try to get involved with the twins. Because I know that I'll completely break with them around. I don't know them. I don't know what they could want with me. So I just hope they stay out of the picture.