secret family // baylor (completed)

fake a smile

"Good morning beautiful."

Link said with a smile as I walked into the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes as I yawned. Last night was the first night I slept in Link and I's bed and it still doesn't feel right. None of this feels right. Everything is just so fucking wrong. Link doesn't know I cried myself to sleep last night in his arms. Link doesn't know that I thought of every method in the book to end my life. Link doesn't know anything.

"Good morning."

I groaned as I sat down at the island. Link slid me a plate of food as I groaned again. I don't want to eat. I don't want to sleep. I just want my daughter back.

"You need to eat something. It's not just you anymore."

Link said as he grabbed his own plate of food and sat across from me. I picked up my fork and looked at my plate before just bursting into tears. Is it the hormones? Is it the depression? Who knows?

"Oh, Pam. It's okay."

Link said as he came around and wrapped me into a hug.

"I miss her so much. Right now I would be giving her a bottle and holding her and god I just want her back!"

I sobbed into Link's shoulder. Life wasn't suppose to be like this after the wedding. Life was suppose to be bliss. Life was suppose to be happy. Life wasn't suppose to be miserable and hormone filled.

"Listen, why don't we lock the door to her room. Just until we get her back. You don't need to be looking in there and being sad over Kinsley not being in there."

"I don't care anymore. Just do whatever. I'm going to bed."

I said as I wiped my tears. I heard Link call after me but I just kept walking down the halls. I can't play pretend like this for much longer. I've reached my breaking point.

"Pam!"

Link called as I got into bed and pulled the covers over my head.

"Pam, baby talk to me."

Link said as he pulled the covers off of my head.

"Link...I'm not happy. I'm not happy about this baby and I'm not happy with life! Okay? Does that make you happy to hear?"

I cried. Link wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed.

"I'm sorry I didn't take your feelings into account over the new baby. I guess I didn't even think about Kinsley in that moment. I'm sorry. I love you and I'm here. No matter what you need. I'm here. For better or for worse, right?"

"Right."

I sniffled as I looked at him.

"We'll get Kinsley back. I promise. And then we can move away and be a happy family. Just the four of us."

Link said as he placed a kiss on the top of my head. That won't work. Fergal has to be in Kinsley's life. I wouldn't rip him away from her like that. But I'll keep my mouth shut about that. Because I don't believe him when he says we'll get her back.