secret family // baylor (completed)

rewritten

"Shhh, it's okay, little one. I've got your bottle right here."

I said to the small baby boy in my arms as I placed the bottle in his mouth. Mason Andrew Devitt. He's finally home. Rebecca, Ashley, Mercades, and I have been staying with Fergal at his and Vero's home since he brought Mason back from the hospital. Fergal hasn't even held Mason since he's been born. It breaks my heart.

I mostly take care of Mason while the girls take care of Fergal. Making sure he eats, trying to get him to change his clothes, all that stuff. I can't bring myself to even look at him. I know I shouldn't be making this about myself but just...hearing him cry over how much he loves Vero. He never cried over how much he loved me. She was his true love. No one can convince me otherwise. And he was my true love.

I don't think I would be very good at picking up Fergal's pieces anyway. I'm not the best comforter in the world. Fergal always knew the right thing to say to someone who was suffering or was in pain. Me? I word vomit all over the place. It's just better if I stick to my position in the nursery.

"How's it going in here?"

Becky asked as she walked into the nursery.

"Well, I think he'll be down for the count once he's done with this bottle. How's Fergal?"

I asked.

"He's broken. He still won't talk. I've never seen him like this in my life."

Becky said as I sighed. I took a deep breath before looking up at her with tears in my eyes.

"Can I ask you something Becks?"

"Of course."

"Did he love her more than me? You can read him like a book, Becky. Please don't lie to me."

I sniffled. Becky let out a breath before placing her hand on my shoulder. That's all I needed from her. He loved Vero more than he ever loved me. Gosh...I thought maybe this time was it. Maybe this was our time to be together. Maybe this time the stars would align in our favor and we would get our happily ever after. But happily ever afters only exist in the world of fairytales and gullible people. And I guess I'm just one of those gullible people.

I handed Mason off to Becky and walked out of the nursery. I'm not going to be any help to Fergal. I would only break down if I were to be around him. I'm full of toxic energy. And he doesn't need that. So I'm going to remove myself for the situation. And it's because I love him. I don't want to hurt him anymore then he already is. I'm doing this for his sake. I can't be the person who causes the mourning widow more hurt.

I don't know where I go from here. I don't know if should take myself and the twins and start a new chapter? I don't know. I thought this was our new chapter. I finally was writing the best chapter of my life. The happily ever after chapter. But now that page has been torn out of my book and stomped on. So it's time to rewrite my chapter. And I'm going to grab that pen and write the best damn chapter yet.