secret family // baylor (completed)

find a way out

Was she prettier? Was she skinnier? Smarter? More athletic? Better listener? Or was it the alcohol that did it? These are all the questions that have kept me up this last week. Well, besides Adalyn. She keeps me up for all hours. That's the only reason I've been strong this past week. I haven't talked to Link even though he has been constantly blowing up my phone. It's not worth the heartache of coming to the realization that my marriage is over.

I really don't have any family left. Sure, I have my friends, but I don't have family. Everyone left or abandoned me. I thought Link was different. I thought we were going to grow old together. He was suppose to cheer me on when I eventually go back to wrestling. He was suppose to teach Adalyn how to ride a bike and how a man is suppose to treat her and walk her down the aisle. But now he hasn't even asked to see his daughter. Well, not since he showed up at the hospital.

I wish I could just go away. I wish I could just take my daughters and move to some shithole town in some random state and live a quiet life. But I can't. My custody agreement with Fergal doesn't allow it. Or you better believe I would be on the next plane out. Don't get me wrong, this isn't to spite Fergal. Link...eh not so much. There's definitely spite there.

I just will never understand how Link could do that to me. How he can spill that whole speech of how he loved me since childhood and then he fucking drops the bomb that he cheated on me. I loved that man. I fought for that man. I always fought for him. Did he ever fight for me? I don't think so. But I'm so fucking tired of fighting. I'm tired of being the only person who gives a flying fuck about this marriage. Cause it's clear Link never did.

I heard Adalyn start to cry as I sighed. None of my friends have checked on me since Adalyn has been born. Well, besides Mercy. And she gets a pass because...obviously. But Ashley hasn't said a thing to me. Well, I haven't even heard from Fergal. Maybe I should disappear. If I'm good enough at it, maybe the cops will never find me for violating the custody agreement. I just need to go. I need to escape. No one would notice if Adalyn and I picked up and left. No one would even care.

I just want my fucking family back. I want to be able to call my Mom and cry to her. For my Dad to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. For my sisters and I to fight about something stupid when all of us are under one room. But I'll never get that ever again. I should've cherished those moments when I had them. Always cherish those moments. You'll never know when they're gone.

Maybe I should just escape. I need a getaway. Kinsley, Adalyn, and I. We just need to find somewhere where no one can find us. Just pick up and disappear. Because that's what everyone did to us. They all of my so-called friends and family just picked up and disappeared out of my life. And maybe they'll like the taste of their own medicine. Who knows? They'll probably all play fucking victim and act like they have no fucking idea what the fuck they did to my kids and I. But I won't let them. Never fucking again.