Some Wings Must Bleed

Chapter 11 - Touch The Untouchable

Kurapika and I were walking in silence towards the village now. I was more soaked then he was, but that was just because I had knelt down to bid my farewells to Kouta. My hair was wet and tangled now, and my dress was completely ruined.

That's too bad, it was a lovely dress.

"(Y/n), are you crying?"

Oh shit, am I still?

Only now noticing my blurry vision, I frantically wiped my tears and looked away from the blonde. "...Kouta was a good creature, I mean, he- you've only been here for a couple days but- I- I ruined my ruined my dress." I fumbled out, furrowing my eyebrows when I noticed just how much my words didn't make sense. "Sorry..."

I've never absorbed the past memories and emotions of a fallen animal before. It is always this overwhelming?

I didn't try to speak again, knowing it would come out in a mess of emotional words that made me seem even more immature. "... I'm not sure I completely understand the spiritual connection you have with your animals, but I have lost some people who were important to me. It's never easy of course, but you always end up finding things that give you strength." Kurapika said in his calm voice, looking ahead and squinting into the distance. "Hey look, we made it back."

. . .

Kurapika helped me on to Katashi and rode the horse back to the house. I felt wrong, or, different.

I feel like my life is being drained, is it because of my nen use? Or because I took on Kouta's emotions?

I was glad the Kurapika was steering the horse. He was good at it, too. After a few minutes of riding in silence, I rested my head on the hunter's back and closed my eyes.

It's fitting for it to rain when such a pure spirit dies.

Listening to the sounds of Katashi's hooves hitting the ground and feeling Kurapika's steady breathing, I felt almost as though I could go to sleep.

That was the first time I ever had to do an emotion transition. It took a lot of energy, but I don't feel sick, just emotionally and physically exhausted.

"(Y/n)? Are you awake? Should I take Katashi to the stable or bring him up to the house?" Kurapika asked, bringing me out of my thoughts and slightly waking me up.

I sat back up, leaning over Katashi and placing my hand on his wet fur.

Come on, just focus a bit more energy.

"Katashi is exhausted. We can walk." I stated, watching as Kurapika clicked his tongue and lead the horse into the stables.

He can already direct horses with a click of his tongue? Way to remind me that I'm a failure, Kurapika...

I dismounted the Clydesdale and grabbed a brush, taking the gear off of him and beginning to stroke his hair in a sweeping motion. "...I'm sorry Katashi, I should've thought things through more. If it's any consolation, when I transferred our emotions I was made aware that Kouta lived a very happy life." I said, brushing the horse and closing my stinging eyes for a moment.

What's happening to me? I feel... numb? But not numb? Dammit...

"We should get you to bed." Kurapika voiced, gently taking the brush from my hand and walking away from me and to the barn door.