Some Wings Must Bleed

Chapter 43 - First Moments Free

I was sitting at the counter now, eating my regular toast along with an egg and orange juice. The kitchen workers insisted that I ate more before my journey and ordered me to have at least some of the egg. "I must be a bad master for all of you to boss me around. Be honest, am I too merciful? Maybe I should make you scrub my floors and rearrange my books based on their release dates while I'm gone." I teased, drinking some of the juice I had been provided.

The chef and maids laughed, constantly refilling my cup and huddling around me as if I were about to make a parting speech. Kurapika came down moments later and sat in the seat next to me, drinking tea. "I suppose you ate earlier?" I mumbled into my cup, eyeing my hunter.

"Yes, I did. Enjoying your meal?"

"Yes, I am... Hey, have any of you heard word from my father? Does he wish to speak with me?" I asked, placing my cup on the counter and looking over the heard of people.

After a moment of silence had passed, I sighed. "I'm leaving for two months and he couldn't even be bothered to bid me farewell... I suppose it's for the best. I mean, if he did want to talk to me, it would probably just be a lecture." I joked, hoping my words would mask my secret anger and offense.

"Will you be ready to leave in around half an hour, my lady?" Kurapika asked.

"Let's leave now." I stated, hopping out of my seat and walking towards the front door. "I mean, why would we stick around? We want to make some progress before dark, right? So let's go."

Kurapika hopped down from his stool and followed me quietly, probably not wanting to set me off on an angry speech about something. We left the house and mounted our horses, Kurapika on Rod and me on Katashi. "Are you sure you want to leave right now? There is no one you wish to say goodbye to?" Kurapika asked as I clicked my tongue at Katashi, letting him lead us to the front gates.

"I already said goodbye to everyone at the going away party. Isn't that kind of the point of a going away party?" I replied, waving to the gate's guards as they opened the large door.

"Yes, I guess it is. Well, our first stop we should reach before sundown. It's a stable and a hotel, so we can board our horses there during the trip and stay for a night. I've already arranged for a car to be there for us, so when we leave in the morning we will drive from then on." Kurapika explained, his eyes lazily tracing the dirt path in front of us.

"Alright, that sounds good. Do you know how to drive?" I asked.

"Yes, I do. In pretty much every populated area there are cars, so it's helpful to know how to drive."

"I see..."

"... Are you angry that your father didn't wish to speak to you?"

"... No, I don't think so."

"... Are you hurt? You tend to take out sadness as anger..."

"I'm fine, I just don't want to discuss my inconsiderate father."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I just think it's funny. I mean, how little he cares about my feelings. He- he's treated me like shit since before I could walk, shoved information down my throat since I could speak, and god, what kind of caring father forces their child into a marriage? Yes. Maybe I am angry. And hurt. Both of those things."

"I understand your feelings. It's not easy constantly feeling like you'll never be enough."

"Yes! Exactly!" I exclaimed, my arms gesturing as I spoke. "It's just that I've never felt good enough for anyone my entire goddamn life! The only person who doesn't make me feel worthless is- well... is you." I admitted, my tone getting quieter as I realized what I was saying.