Stacie: I wish I was an astrology bitch
Chloe: why?
Stacie: so I can lie to myself when something goes wrong. Like, am I actually a failure? Or is Mercury just in retrograde?
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Aubrey: so yeah, those are all the reasons why I think your routine won't work. Just thought I'd put my two cents in
Beca: that seemed like a whole fucking credit card
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Aubrey: Flo, you're not gonna win the World's like this. I want you more vivacious, energetic. I wanna see fun! Character!
Flo: fine. Knock knock
Aubrey: hm, who's there?
Flo: not your dad
Aubrey: ....
Emily: ...not your dad who?
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Chloe: we need to do this choreo to the nines
Flo: but there's ten of us
CR: it's just an expression
Stacie: yeah none of us are getting the boot
Flo: oh ok. Close call, Emily
Emily: what????
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Beca: I really couldn't stand the sight of my stepmother. So I-
Lily: you killed her
Beca: no...
Beca: but we really should talk about your first assumption always being murder
Lily: I was raised by the wolves, Beca
Beca: figure of speech?
Lily: sure, why not
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Emily: Cap, you and I are gonna go get mani-pedis today! And not because I have to keep you away for a surprise birthday party!
Beca: you guys organized a surprise birthday party?
Emily: holy truffles, how'd you find out?!
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Fat Amy: Flo, you can be kind of a Debby Downer sometimes
CR: yeah you're just like... a bit pessimistic
Stacie: highly dramatic
Flo: first of all we're all gonna die
Beca: Flo, chill. We're just out of flour
Flo: that's how the French Revolution started
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Beca: they should really have a club for us sad misandrist introverts
Fat Amy: with you as a dj?
Beca: "how we feelin' tonight?? Are you ready for a night of cheap alcohol and self deprecation? MAKE SOME NOISE!"
CR: you'll keep the middle school dance distance?
Beca: and no real dancing, just shuffling around in socks and avoiding eye contact
CR: sign me up
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Calamity: give up, you girls have no class
Chloe: excuse you? We have plenty of class!
Fat Amy: yeah, we're a fancy bunch! You know what I had for breakfast? Fruit kebabs. That's grapes and melon on a stick, bitch!
*********
A/N: so the French Revolution one is actually based on an actual conversation I had where I was supposed to improv as Flo. Fun stuff 😬 (which kinda gave me an idea for chapter 100...)
Also I hope Anna Kendrick, wherever she is, knows how much her fans appreciate her, that we know the accusations were false and that we're on her side. ❤️
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Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
