DISCLAIMER: these are all quotes from shows, I take no credit!
**************
Theo: so, where are you from? Heaven?
Beca: yeah, I'm a ghost. I died 15 years ago, like that pick-up line
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Stacie: I'm pregnant!
John: I've never seen that woman before in my life!
John: sorry, force of habit. Congratulations!
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Beca: Chloe, you're staring at my boobs
Chloe: in my defense, they were staring at me
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Stacie: let's talk wine. Chloe, Do you have a preference?
Chloe: honey, I'd suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick
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Flo: TAXI!
Flo: you see, they don't stop cause I'm a latina
Beca: or because that was just a yellow car
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Flo: you need to learn how to stand up for yourself
Emily: that's easy for you to say
Flo: no, no. Nothing in english is easy for me to say
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Chloe: I'm not a crybaby
Beca: ah, Toy Story 3?
Chloe: the toys were holding hands in a furnace!
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Aubrey: Flo, Amy, you're in charge of seating
Fat Amy: smart move, Chloe. I've been called the Leonardo Da Vinci of sitting on my ass
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Chloe: if Emily never wakes up on a beach, half naked, I've done my job
Beca: our job
Chloe: right, I've done our job
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Beca: what happened to our united front?!
Stacie: I'm sorry, is this your first day being a girl?
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Aubrey: I must say, this is considerably better than when I came out to my colleagues. They were not, as the kids say, awake
Beca: do you mean woke?
Aubrey: I did mean woke. But it's grammatically incoherent
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Aubrey: writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?
Beca: I just forget stuff. Like a cool person
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Jesse: you wanna name our daughter Jack Daniels? She's a girl!
Beca: okay, fine, whatever. Jackie Daniels
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Beca: guess who's walking the red carpet this Saturday?
Emily: Chord Overstreet
Beca: who?
Emily: Sam Evans from Glee
Beca: no, me. Why would you guess that? I was clearly talking about me
Fat Amy: okay but for the record, I bet Chord Overstreet will also be walking one
Beca: stop talking about Chord Overstreet!
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Stacie: *walks in with her 8 months bump*
John: I finally understand why people say that pregnant women glow
Gail: I've had 3 children, John
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Flo: I've never played this game of dodging balls before. What are the rules?
CR: don't die
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Beca: could someone give me a hand with the zipper?
Chloe: yeah *pulls the zipper*
Beca:
Beca: up!
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Aubrey: do you remember any of your high school projects?
Stacie: I remember telling Jenny Runyon that I would teach her how to flirt with boys if she put my name on her project
Stacie: I got an A, she got pregnant
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Kommissar: hello, Chloe. Surprised to see me?
Chloe: well, I didn't say Bloody Mary three times, so yes
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Beca, tearing up: I'm sorry
Aubrey: oh... Beca, crying... I don't know what to do...
Aubrey: *pats Beca's head*
Aubrey: this feels wrong
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CR: vodka for me and... A juice box for her
Emily: Cynthia Rose, I'm an ADULT!
Emily: I can order my own juice box...
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Chloe: do you want me to go with you because you're a little scared?
Beca: no
Chloe: do you want me to go with you because you're a lot scared?
Beca: yes!!
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Stacie: come live with me, my roommate just moved out
Beca: are you sure? You just met me. I could be a serial killer
Stacie: I like to believe in people
Stacie: plus, what are the chances that we're both serial killers?
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Benji: Beca, how did you and Theo meet?
Beca, chuckling: oh no
Beca: no no no no no no no no no
Beca: no no no... no
Beca: Theo and I are not together
Beca: no... no
Theo: really? 16 no's? Really?
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Aubrey: you know, you can't spell "independent" without "dependent"
Beca: and you can't spell "go fuck yourself" without "fuck you"
***********
Shows used: The Big Bang Theory, Glee, Modern Family, Friends, Brooklyn 99, How I Met Your Mother.
A/N: let's talk tv series! What are your favorite shows? Characters? Ships? I'm curious 👀
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Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
