Beca: I may not be perfect, but.
Flo: but what?
Beca: I don't know, I was hoping for automatic text prediction or something
------
Job interviewer: have you ever committed a felony?
Fat Amy: ah, you see, this kind of question is tricky because it's just a matter of perspective, y'know?
Fat Amy: like do you mean steal candy from a shop felony or steal your neighbor's car felony?
Job interviewer: well depends, which one have you done?
Fat Amy: say both, hypothetically?
-------
Doctor: are you sexually active?
Beca: what?! That question is highly inappropriate. And invasive
Doctor: ma'am it's just the-
Beca, crossing her arms accusingly: are YOU sexually active?
Doctor:
Doctor: it's complicated, alright?!
-----
Emily, sobbing: my date, h-he just broke my h-heart...
Beca: sweetheart, can you hand me our butcher knife?
Emily: why?
Beca: I need to chop some-
Beca: ...celery
------
Chloe: you're so cute--mute! I meant mute haha you're a little quiet today, aren't you?
Chicago: I was just admiring how pretty you are
Chloe: oh wow okay that took an unexpected turn
------
Stacie: hey Flo, do you wanna do yogalates with me?
Flo: no sorry, I'm lactose intolerant
-------
[at a courthouse]
Fat Amy: we would have handled the situation differently but Emily is a pathological liar
Emily: no I'm not!
Fat Amy: that's what a liar would say. So, were you lying?
Emily: of course not!
Fat Amy: two for two, do we need any more evidence?
Emily: yes!
Fat Amy: which from you would mean no, thank you for your time, your honour
--------
Beca: my ex girlfriend was in a serious accident
CR: Beca, that's terrible
Chloe: you like girls?
Beca: she's in a coma, they don't know if she'll ever wake up
Aubrey: I'm so sorry Beca...
Chloe: you like girls??
Beca: thanks guys, I guess shit happens
Emily: it really does, oh my stars...
Chloe, grabbing Beca by the shoulders: you. Like. Girls?????
******
A/N: I can't believe they've actually announced a Pitch Perfect 4, I'm so happy 😭😭
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Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
