Chloe: hey did it hurt?
Beca: yes
Chloe: when you fell from hea- wait, what?
Beca: I talk to a counselor twice a week about it
Chloe: oh
ALT
Beca: hey did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Chloe: yeah
Beca: y-yeah?
Chloe: I landed on my ass
----
Chloe: do you know what my shirt is made of?
Chloe: girlfriend material
Beca, simultaneously: cotton
----
Benji: are you a parking ticket? Cause you have "fine" written all over you
Emily: oh god, really? Do you happen to have a mirror and a wet towel??
----
Random dude: if nothing lasts forever, can you be my nothing?
Stacie: did you just say I'm nothing?!
----
Benji: I was wondering if you had an extra heart... mine was just stolen
Emily: oh shoot! Should I call the police or the hospital??
----
Theo: I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
Beca: no
Theo: well then, please start
Beca: I have... I said no
----
Chloe: I'm lost, can you give me directions to your heart?
Beca: straight through eternal regret, follow the path of dread and sorrow and turn the first left
ALT
Beca: I'm lost, can you give me directions to your heart?
Chloe: I can't, I failed Anatomy
--------
Dj Dragon Nutz: is your father an alien?
Lily: who told you?
Dj Dragon Nutz: because there's nothing else on Earth like you- did you just say who told you
--------
Benji: are you a magician? Because whenever I'm with you, everyone else disappears!
Emily: I think that's because you are a magician... and they disappear because you usually set the stage on fire
--------
Theo: hey, name's Theo but you can call me whenever you want
Beca: that's a long name. Is it meant to make up for something else?
---------
Dj Dragon Nutz: are you an organ donor? Cause I would like to give you my heart
Lily: no but I collect organs so thank you
----
A/N: comment with your favourite pickup line! ;)
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
